[AvidReader]

Hi everyone, last week I got back from an inpatient stay in the hospital and then spent a few days in a transitional step-down facility. It was excruciatingly difficult but well worth it. I feel much better. I'm back on medication and am getting hooked up with a therapist, and I'm in a Dialectical Behavior Therapy group. I also joined Al-Anon to help me process some of my childhood issues from growing up with alcoholic parents.

Unfortunately my husband told me when I got home that the marriage is essentially over, that emotionally he can never get back to where we were before the depression made both of our lives a living hell. He's taking our three kids on our planned summer vacation without me, and that hurts. Also, I've followed him around the country for his job, giving up my own career, and now I'm in a location where there is really no potential gainful employment for me. So that's terrifying.

People on this forum have been so kind and supportive, just wanted to touch base with everyone. Hope you all are well.

[Miss Laura]

Welcome back AvidReader

I am sooo glad ou are feeling better and that you are getting all the help you need. I am sorry about your Marriage. This must be very hard for you. Do you have no support at all where you are?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by AvidReader

Unfortunately...

That's an immense, ill-timed "unfortunately." Have you informed your caretakers of what's being thrown at you? I so hope what you have gained recently is not wiped out by this bad news.

Peace and Strength to you, AvidReader.

[missbelle]

Sorry right now that you are going through so much. The very last thing you needed was for husband to tell you after you got home that the marriage was over. I am so sorry!

I belong to al-anon and have belonged for the last ten years or so. I just recently started back to meetings after having my two surgeries. I think you will like it. There is also ACOA which is focused soley on adult children of alcoholics but the al-anon one is good for you as well. Check to see if they have the other group as well.

Glad you have some good meds, and the support group. Make sure you let Dr. and therapist etc know how things are at home with husband and taking the kids on vacation. It changes the pictures and you need all the support you can get. We are all here for you too.!!!!!

Hugs and hugs;
Dee

[AvidReader]

Thanks so much, MissLaura, Rohag, and Dee! Yes, my husband's timing was pretty -- crappy. for lack of a better word. I would like to think he could've waited a bit until I was on steadier footing, so to speak, instead of dumping that news on me literally the day I was discharged.

Yes, my therapists all know the situation. I am trying hard to build up a social support network, which I need so badly right now. We have moved around so much that it's been hard to maintain a consistent one. I do have several very kind and supportive long-distance friends and relatives who have been communicating through e-mail, and I have one good friend here in the town where I live. And thank goodness I'll be in individual and group therapy. I am praying that will be sufficient to keep me from spiraling downward again.

The vacation time will be tough, I know. I am trying to brace myself, and have been mulling a trip myself out of town to visit a friend.

I really appreciate all the support I have received from you all. I count PC as one of my support systems.

Many thanks, again!

[kebsfroggy]

It never ceases to amaze me how husbands have such an uncanny way of pulling the rug out from under our feet just as we start getting our lives back together.
I'm so glad your hospitalization although difficult worked well. You've also made connection with support groups and therapy which will also help you through this difficult time.
Your realization that vacation time is going to be difficult and you thoughts for how to survive show you are coping.
Please continue to keep us informed. Know we are here to ride out the rough spots with you.

kebs

[pgrundy]

Avid Reader, so so sorry that all this is hitting you now, but I'm glad the hospitalization helped and that you are getting on a more supportive track.

I think it's pretty common for partners to flee when it gets tough. My ex did. It's fine though--I mean, it hurt at the time but after a few years he came to regret it (too bad, good riddance), and now I have a partner who is right there for me no matter what.

Your kids will be OK so long as they know you love them, and you do. Hugs to you and just keep putting one foot in front of another. It will get better and better. Maybe not quickly, but gradually you will come back to yourself and life will improve. Hang in there!

[XxLifexX]

Glad that you're back! Sorry to hear about you and your husband, depression tends to rip people's relationships apart. Things will get better.

[AvidReader]

Thank you all for your supportive comments! It means so much to me.

Hello, AvidReader. Take good care of yourself and love your children.