[justempty]

I always end up here when I'm feeling my lowest and have no one else to talk to. Hubby died in Feb. Today is one of those days when I just feel like crawling into that grave with him to be done with life and just to be with him. I almost feel like I've become invisible in this world and the one person who thought so much of me, the one I want to be with, the one who wanted to be with me above anyone else, is no longer here. I don't feel like I have a purpose in being here any more.

Today I got some notice from the court about starting the probate process and I am feeling overwhelmed and so worried about this. I don't understand it or exactly what's going to happen. I don't want to deal with it.

Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry if this post is disturbing in any way. If it strikes a note with you, please let me hear your thoughts. Since I'm here, it means I'm desperate. Thanks guys.

[gma45]

Bet your Hubby would not like to hear you saying those things. But I do understand life can be so hard sometimes especially when we feel so alone. sounds like you might need some legal advice as to what needs to happen with probate, I wish I knew what to tell you. Vent any time....I sure have been lately, It does help!

[kaliope]

justempty
what you are feeling is completely normal, valid and understandable under your circumstances. having received notice from the court stirred up all those feelings regarding your loss and made everything fresh for you to reexperience. fear of the unknown only makes it worse. perhaps you could find a grief support group where there are others who have been through what you have been through to support you and answer questions for you. the local hospice here has a grief group that allows anybody who has experienced a loss to attend even if they werent on hospice. allow yourself your grief, cry, let it out. experiencing it is the only way to get through it. hang in there.

[TerryL]

I hear ya. When I lost my mother I felt just like you do, so alone, with no purpose in life. I wish there was an easier way to grieve but it just takes time and lots of crying. You are doing the best thing for yourself by reaching out and by venting. You are not alone. and hold on to what you described, that at least there was one person who truly cared about you. May that thought sustain and validate you when times get tough.

As for the legal matters, they are hard to deal with when one is so distraught. Can someone help you with them?

[saywhat?]

Justempty....I feel your pain....I come here too when I'm not feeling well and isolating myself from the world. For some reason reading others comments and questions makes me feel just a little bit better. Gives me something to do besides wallow in my own darkness, which I do alot of btw. Sometimes I find a question/post that I can answer or give perspective on and that makes me feel like I can do somebody some good if only by sharing my own experience with whatever is troubling them. So read, read, read! I read an article once that said reading (novels, newspapers, magazines, forums, blogs, whatever!) is the cheapest antidepressant available. It takes your mind to whatever you're reading, so you forget your troubles and worries for as long as you can stay interested in the topic. I hope you feel better soon!