How can you be a good daughter--
when you wish someone else was your mother

How can you be a good sister--
when you're reminded what little value you have

How can you be a good wife--
when things get broken and words are so sharp

How can you be a good mother--
when your children look to others for help

How can you carry on with a smile through this holiday season, when you dread it's arrival.

How can you hold on with all these things going round in your head?????

Hope you all don't mind this...... just feel like I'll implode if I don't get some of this out!!!

mandy

[(JD)]

2b... good post. I don't mind a bit. One foot in front of the other? Because your normal reactions to others don't constitute WHO you are? Because we are who we are, regardless of who others are? It sure isn't easy, is it?

Mandy,

Look at what a good friend you are.

My wish for you is that someday you'll
see yourself as I do.

Petunia

[DaveyJones]

Like Sky said, one step at a time...a smile here, a gentle touch there...a phone call, maybe split a plate of crow with someone? I am never shocked at the power that gentle assertiveness, that speaking the truth in LOVE has on others.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Mandy.

Peace,
DJ

[Lexicon78]

Hang in there! We all love ya here!

Wishing for someone else to be your mother is because your mother has hurt you very badly. It isn't the fault of the daughter.

Sibblings can sometime be very cruel. Most of the time it is because you are better then them and they know it and are jealous of you.

Sometime we cannot be a good wife because the husband don't give us a chance to show him our true value. Also because sometime, deep down, he is afraid of you, afraid of your power, afraid because really you don't need him to survive and he knows it.

Children wants to discover the world at their rhythms. So they will not only take your guidance but will also look elsewhere just in case that there would be something they would miss, something you wouldn't know not because they don't love you but because of their need to discover further and further.

It is very very hard to see the positive side of life when you suffer from depression and you are also not in a very good situation or environment. But you have to keep reminding yourself Mandy that this is not your fault and to try to see just the small beauty that life can give you becuase there is beauty in this world but it is not always the people that surrond us who will make us see that. Sometime you have to look beyond the ugliness.

I love you my friend

[Fuzzybear]

I think you're great, thank you for being a good friend to the bear!


Your fuzzy friend

[jmo531]

Mandy,

This time of year is really hard. Alot of things happening which adds tons of pressure. Please be gentle with yourself. As the others have said, take things slowly.

You have been nothing but kind and wonderful since the first time I have met you. You have supported so many in their time of need and that includes me. Please dont be so hard on yourself.

Huggles,

jen

Sky,

You are so right.... it isn't easy!! Thanks for not minding this post. And thanks for your reply I appreciate it.

Petunia,

Isn't it strange how sometimes one can see themselves so different from
the way others see them?!!

Thank you for your kind words.

mandy

DaveyJones

I like your choice of words-- " split a plate of crow with someone". reminds me of a show I used to like--- "Andy Griffith". Thanks for your kind post. And peace to you too.

Lexi,

Thanks, I appreciate your reply. I'm trying to hang on!

mandy

Time0,

You are so wise in all you've said.

I really like how you said this--- "Children wants to discover the world at their rhythms." -- I realize there are times I have to let go..... just hard to accept that in dire times of need they, at times, turn to someone else.

and also this is something I should probably keep in mind--- "there is beauty in this world but it is not always the people that surround us who will make us see that." -- that is so well said Time0!!!!

Thank you so much for sharing all this-- I really appreciate it.

mandy

Thanks Fuzzy-friend. I think you are great too!!!!

Jen,
It is so hard to take things slow at this time of year- shopping, getting rooms ready for out of state visitors, meal planning, baking, wrapping gifts, sending out greeting cards.... and on and on....... I will try to slow down some way though. Maybe I am a bit hard on myself.
Thanks for being so supportive-- you are very thoughtful.


mandy

[Overcastbutclearing]

[wisewoman]

HOW CAN YOU? I agree, one foot in front of the other. Hugs to the kids when they are not expecting it. Just making a decision to care for yourself and that you have such value, here and in the world. Yesterday I did a very crazy childish thing and it made my day. Maybe you could try that? You are doing the best you can and that is all we can ever expect. Peace

Thank you Susan Jane, for the hugs you are very kind.

Wisewoman,
That's cool --- you did a crazy thing and it made your day, maybe you could share it with us?

I'm sorry.... things for me are falling apart even more..... don't think I could muster up anything to help me right now... thanks for the suggestion though-- it's appreciated.
Sometimes... my best just isn't good enough.

I feel I have to isolate now.... so much hurting. Really don't want to burden anyone..... I shouldn't have posted this in the beginning....

AT another "support" site I briefly belonged to-- it was questioned whether I am seeking attention ---- I assure all of you, I am in no way just seeking attention, (starting a thread about myself is very hard for me)
and hope I haven't appeared as such here.

wishing you all well

mandy

[(JD)]

(((hugs))) yw... you have every right to post this, to begin whatever thread you need to ... and even if someone DID need attention, it doesn't delete the pot any for sharing.

Your best is good enough. (Whew, that's something I keep thinking myself (best isn't good enough.) I know it adds to my depression..but it seems like truth, to me... and I'm sure it does to you, too (that it isn't good enough, others demand more.. grrr)

Take care of yourself.

[Fuzzybear]

hmm it gets tiring when some on some Mental "Health" sites like to make such judgements..... blech

It often reflects more on them imo

I have certainly never thought that about you....