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  #1  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 12:52 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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do I feel everything is my fault?

maybe cuz it is why?

whine why?
Bear
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  #2  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 12:53 AM
Overcastbutclearing Overcastbutclearing is offline
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Hey...don't be so hard on yourself.
I know you got a lot of "GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" in you. And, you w/hold so much of your hurt and anger.
I am sorry you feel like things are always your fault.
I am here for you my friend.
Hang in there and Be safe!
  #3  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 01:00 AM
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Awww furry-paws. why?

I'm sorry you feel that way.

I know how confusing it is.

It's not your fault though...

Petunia
  #4  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 01:02 AM
SleepsWithButterFlies SleepsWithButterFlies is offline
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I don't know why you feel that way but its not true
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  #5  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 01:06 AM
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desirae desirae is offline
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I too have this conflict with myself daily, and the one thing I remind myself to do is to remember to take responsibility for the things that I've done, and not feel guilty for the things I could not control.
It becomes to over whelming if you take responsibility for everything, even the things you were not responsible for. I recommend focusing on one thing at a time, and accepting the things you can not change.
I hope you feel better, don't beat yourself up.
Desirae
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  #6  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 01:08 AM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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What happened that you feel everything is your fault? I think that you need to be responsible for your actions but that doesn't mean you are to blame for everything that goes wrong. Let someone else take blame for their own actions.

Hang in there. We're all here for you.
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  #7  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 05:15 AM
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jmo531 jmo531 is offline
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Fuzzylovebear))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


Its not true. I tell you, it just isnt true.


Huggles,


jen
  #8  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 10:27 AM
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Ahhhhh my dear friend, I wish I got that answer for you and for me.

I know that feeling and how sad it makes me feel, how disapointed in myself I am, how dumb and useless I can be. It is a feeling that I wish you didn't have.

This feeling probably comes from far in your pass and you have a hard time today making the difference between what could be your fault and what isn't. When people say it is your fault or you feel it is your fault is goes right through your heart probably because as a child you never could be perfect enough to please the ones who were suppose to be your guidance and the ones who were suppose to shield you with love. So in your soul it's all your fault and then you must be rejected.

We all make mistakes but the world's fault is not completally on our shoulder. You also must remember, my friend, that a lot of people reflect themselves in us. It is themselves they see and it is not your fault.

((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))

Now Fuzzy when I feel like this, please do remind me of my own words. why?
  #9  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 10:54 AM
hillbunnyb hillbunnyb is offline
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Blame sucks. Gets us nowhere. try to break the habit and install a forgiveness pattern instead. Try breathing in your goodness and out your blame.
))) ) ) ) Fuzzy(( (( ( bumpies for you, you good person you.
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  #10  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 10:56 AM
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BlueFaith BlueFaith is offline
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(((((Fuzzy)))))
You're a good and helpful person. We love you here. I'm sorry you're feeling this way. why?
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Sometimes we have to try and shed the damage we don't need."
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  #11  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 11:57 AM
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DaveyJones DaveyJones is offline
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Hey FuzzyWuzzy,

Everything IS NOT your fault.

It's MINE.


Thinking of you...

DJ why?
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Peace,
DJ

"Maturity is nothing more than a firmer grasp of cause and effect."
-Bob

"and the angels, and the devils,
are playin' tug-o-war with my personality"
-Snakedance, The Rainmakers
  #12  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 11:57 AM
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fuzzy wuzzy honey bear.....sorry that you are feeling down but its not all your fault......love you always
  #13  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 02:57 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Thanks everyone for your care and support why?
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  #14  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 04:00 PM
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Merlin Merlin is offline
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There as so many of us who believe that it's all our fault, that we cannot possibly be right. Take responsabilty for what is your fault and leave the rest.

TC,

Laura
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It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction!
---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859.
  #15  
Old Dec 18, 2005, 05:58 PM
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hazeleyes hazeleyes is offline
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Hi Fuzzybear... I take the blame for most things in this world. And I am being very hard on myself right now, that I can't FORGET about my own small problems for awhile and do what I am meant to do....which is help kids that were far worse off than I was? People suffer....and I whine! ...see? But I wouldn't think this way of others..... Others are usually better, smarter, braver, happier... So how do we change if we were taught this early in life? That's what I'm trying to find out now, in therapy etc.... but hey, these meds are making me numb and I fear I'm not thinking straight. Do you ever feel like you're losing your mind? What if we all do? lol...sorry.... but I can't help laughing at myself sometime... because I am so afraid of this. So far I haven't been to the mental hospital but I know it can happen to me as well as anyone. No ONE is perfect..
... hugs from hazeleyes who want's to make sure it's really her fault.
  #16  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 04:06 AM
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samsara samsara is offline
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
hillbunnyb said:
Blame sucks. Gets us nowhere. try to break the habit and install a forgiveness pattern instead. Try breathing in your goodness and out your blame.
))) ) ) ) Fuzzy(( (( ( bumpies for you, you good person you.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well said. I found it also helps to practice this with others. Don't blame yourself, don't blame others. Both only hurt you. It is better to take care of yourself emotionally. Forgiveness is so helpful, and brings out your natural compassion - toward yourself and toward others. So take good care of yourself - as an old friend once said to me "Don't be your judge and jury, be your defense."

It takes effort and attention to practice forgiveness, but it is worth it. And sometimes practicing forgiveness is just not attaching blame - don't go down that road at all. What you don't have you don't have to get rid of.

I went through this with my divorce. I kept wanting to blame my wife for what I went through and I kept reaching for forgiveness instead. Now she is a good friend and part of my small support network. She can see that I have chosen a different approach than I would have in the past. As with others, so it is with me. I don't blame myself anymore, I try to accept where I am and to forgive myself for being here.

I don't know if I got off topic on you or not. I think blame is a choice that you make. It's an easier choice than compassion. Being compassionate sometimes means (it did for me) lowering your expectations of yourself, for a while at least. I had to lower my expectations a lot, and I take pride in much smaller things than I would have in the past.

Without giving up hope, allow yourself to be with who you are right now. You can be nobody else. So where is the blame? Somewhere in the past where you can do nothing about it. It is only here and now if you put it there. Replace it, as hillbunnyb suggested. Let go of blame, be compassionate with yourself. Treat yourself as you would want to be treated by others - loved, hugged, important and so on. It is a process, not a goal or an event. Moment by moment, be kind to yourself. If you find yourself slipping, distract yourself with a walk or whatever. Go back to being kind to yourself. Some days will be "ugh" days - just have to go through those.

Finally, be sure to indulge yourself each day. Spend 15 minutes doing something for yourself that you really like. Take a bubble bath, watch a sunset, read a book or favorite magazine, watch a TV show you like, whatever turns your crank. And acknowledge to yourself that you are doing something special for you because you deserve it. Relax, enjoy your indulgence, you've earned it. Use the energy you would use to blame yourself to pamper yourself instead.

Just some ideas for you to think about. Every human life is a very precious thing. Including yours why?
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  #17  
Old Dec 19, 2005, 03:27 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Thank you Laura, Hazeleyes and samsara.

Welcome to the forums samsara and thanks for your very helpful reply!

Take care,
Fuzzy
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  #18  
Old Dec 20, 2005, 07:08 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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why? why?
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  #19  
Old Dec 20, 2005, 07:39 AM
Overcastbutclearing Overcastbutclearing is offline
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why?
  #20  
Old Dec 20, 2005, 09:11 AM
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{{{{Bear}}}}}
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  #21  
Old Dec 24, 2005, 11:24 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Thanks ..... why? why?
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  #22  
Old Dec 24, 2005, 11:40 AM
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sigh. maybe because of childhood raising, taught to believe SOMEONE has to be at fault for everything that goes "wrong." Rather than realize that sometimes things just happen and noone is at fault? Maybe because there are plenty of ppl who are eager to point out an error, or make it look like someone is a fault, cuz that makes them look better?

GRRRRRR GRRRRRRRR GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
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