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#1
Dec 21, 2005, 08:19 PM
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I am in some bad shape...trying to take away from all my hurts from the past I have involved myself in areas I should never enter.
Currently, I am having difficulties staying off of WorldWinner which is a game site. The problem is, it is a betting site and over the past month I have lost roughly about $1200. I am trying to get myself in check. It is just that I withdrawl from everything around me and just play game after game in some kind of hope that I want have to live in the present to feel the pain of the past. I really need to stop this "addiction" if you will. I kind of took a mini vacation from my trauma work. Now I am back into it and still find the need to escape from the way I feel. I can be fine one minute and the next minute feel like life must end. It is very frustrating to me to be like this. |
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#2
Dec 21, 2005, 09:32 PM
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(((((((((sj)))))))
I know these hugs dont do very much for me (I'd actually like to feel them), and dont know if it helps you, but I just wanted to let you know I'm here and I'm thinking of you. I know how frustrating it is that your mind cant seem to decide what mood you're in. Cant I be a constant for just a few minutes? At least thats how I feel. Hope good days come for you.. Kay
__________________
 Your memory is a monster; you forget - it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you - and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you. -John Irving |
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#3
Dec 21, 2005, 11:33 PM
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I'm so sorry you're struggling so much right now. I know a lot of the time I feel the need to escape everything in my life...past, present, and future. I've learned that's the worst thing to do. If you feel yourself wanting to escape, try grounding techniques. And when you feel the need to end your life, reach out to us here, to someone like a friend or T or the crisis line, or journal, keep yourself busy, etc. We all care about you!
Hang in there.
__________________
"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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#4
Dec 22, 2005, 09:52 AM
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I know how you're feeling. I totally get what you're saying when you call it an addiction. Healing is very hard work. Try to hang in there. The more consistent you can be, the quicker you'll be on the "other side" of this thing and feel less of a need for escape.
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#5
Dec 22, 2005, 10:07 PM
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(((((((sj)))))) Big hugs, and a big "I understand"
__________________
 complic8d"Don't say I'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-your reality I know well what lies beyond my secret refuge The nightmare I built my own world to escape." ♥evanescence♥
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#6
Dec 22, 2005, 11:45 PM
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((((((SJ))))) I know how easy it is to spend money to try to make yourself feel better and how hard it is to deal with the enevitable realization that you didn't really have that money available. You will make it though, through the "addiction" and through the trauma, because if people say it's true for me than it's true for you too.
__________________
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence, to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." How much it expresses! How chastening in the hour of pride! How consoling in the depths of affliction! ---"Address before the Wisconsin State Agricultural Society". Abraham Lincoln Online. Milwaukee, Wisconsin. September 30, 1859. |
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#7
Dec 22, 2005, 11:48 PM
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(((STAR))) (((LEX))) (((BEN))) ((COMPLIC8D)))
(((LIGHT/DARK))) Thanks for your understanding and support. I have been good, 24 hours w/ no online gambling. Let's hope I can keep from finding some other way to sabotage my life. |
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#8
Dec 24, 2005, 10:44 PM
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{{{{{{sj}}}}}
I find myself looking for ways to "escape" life's responsibilities, even when I'm in a more stable place. Mine takes the place of an online game (Everquest - also known as "Evercrack" for its addicting qualities), chatting online (not here, just idle chatting) and reading/sleeping. So, totally understand escapism - we all just have different outlets. Proud of you for going 24 hours!!! Sending warm thoughts that you'll come out to the other side of this even stronger!!
__________________
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#9
Dec 24, 2005, 11:11 PM
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(((Azalysa))
Thanks for your support. I have been strong and haven't been on now since I posted this a few days ago. I can do this. I just have to figure out how to not get sucked into something else that is just the same. Tonight I am numb. Wishing Xmas would come and go. |
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#10
Dec 25, 2005, 11:07 PM
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{{{{{{sj}}}}}
 Christmas is almost over - only 2 more hours EST!
__________________
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#11
Dec 27, 2005, 06:13 PM
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Although I am having one of my bad days,
I have been able to stay clear of the gambling game site. I have been away from it now for days. Tempted on my bad day now to go on it but still staying away. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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