[indoril54]

I found my way to this site searching for answers. It's too difficult to share what's really going on with anyone I know. I've created the perception that I am confident, happy and driven. Truth be told, my friends and family have got it all wrong. A few months ago I finally went to a psych and he diagnosed me with depression and I began taking anti-depressants.

As I dive deeper into therapy, new thoughts on my behaviors and tendencies have arisen. I'm a slave to my urges and emotions. Every so often, I abandon entire circles of friends and replace them with new ones. My romantic relationships have an even shorter timeline, typically lasting no more than 2 weeks. I don't know how or why I can form such a strong attraction and/or bond with someone just to wake up one day and feel nothing for them.

Over the last six months, I've had periodic alcohol and drug binges that can last days at a time. The worst part of all of it is that I feel like all of this is not healthy behavior yet I feel numb and sometimes more empty.

Where does it end? How do I turn this around?

[Leed]

First, if you believe that you have a problem with alcohol & drugs, you probably HAVE. I think I would address this issue quickly!! Many times we use these things to "numb" our emotions & pain. Talk to your therapist about the drugs & alcohol -- it could save your life !!

I'm glad you're in therapy -- these 'short term' relationships could have something to do with the past -- with your childhood. When we discover some of our "traits" we are better able to figure out what's behind it -- and your therapist will guide you thru it. When I understood the why's and wherefore's, I was better able to make corrections. Therapy has been very helpful to me.

I wish you the best. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[turquoisesea]

I don't think it's a sudden change that happens. Therapy takes time to work, and changing how you function takes time too.

I'd say, keep going to therapy. Keep writing things out. Talk to people who have been there and try to get as much insight as you can.

I hope you can find the answers you're looking for