grouchy

Woke up grouchy.
I'm taking zoloft, still only on my third or fourth week -- I pray this stuff helps.
I hate depression and anxiety. I don't know what to do with myself.

We have family visiting right now (my partner's sister). Since I am at home I have been taking care of the apartment: cleaning, doing laundry etc. I am feeling slightly resentful today because the place is cluttered again. And, of course, I will be the one to clean it.
My partner is at a seminar all day today.
I have also been looking for a new job after I was let go from my old one. But there just seems to be nothing. Which makes me realize I should really use this time to further my education so that I can have a more specific job area.
I feel so overwhelmed about taking classes and going back to school. But somehow cleaning and taking care of the house is something I feel just well enough to take care of. Yet at the same time I feel jealous of my partner for being in school. It's like I don't know how to make life happen for myself. All it does is fill me with worry. I just want to run away and hide. I keep pushing on... But why? All I enjoy doing is my artwork. And that is ridiculous because it won't earn me anything to live on. So what good is it?
I feel angry at life today. My mind is all over the place. I don't know how exactly to be good to myself. Today everything makes me feel grumpy.
...except PC.
Thanks for listening.

Hello, Elana05!
Though my experience is different from yours, those phrases could be my own.
You still enjoy something. Try to find a way to hold on to it. Somehow the world will be better for your art.

I agree with rohag it's good you sitll enjoy something. You may not make money out of it but at least you can focus on your arwrok when you don't have to work and focus on enjoying that. Also I hope for you the Zoloft works soon. Sometimes it takes 6-12 weeks to start working. I know the grouchy feeling. I had that a lot myself too.

Plus you've had your partner's family visiting! Just remember that anyone would be annoyed at them cluttering up the house. I know I would be! Sometimes we have to remember that some thoughts are perfectly normal to have.

I suffer from anxiety and depression as well, and I used to be prescribed celexa, which is very similar to zoloft. I would wake up grouchy, and quickly become more irritated as the day brought on overwhelmingness. This is where the anxiety starts to take over. I suffered really vivid and horrifying dreams at about the 4th week of taking celexa. I spoke with my doc about it, and have since switched over to wellbutrin. It was like night and day. It really seems to be a medication that works for me. As far as the anxiety, I started on Valium, and now take Klonopin (1mg 2xday). This usually cuts the edge off. I am a full time student as well. I will admit that I find it hard to wake up in the morning because I'm groggy, and I believe it's because of a trycyclic anti-depressant that was prescribed with the wellbutrin to help me sleep better at night. It's known as Elavil, and I believe that it's an MAOI. I'm still trying to adjust to what mg of elavil is right for me. But, my point is that, anti-depressants are a trial and error type of thing. You may have to try different anti-depressants to find which works out best for you. Hope this was hopeful!

Grouchy is part of my depression or anxiety..or both ..who knows. I get really irritable at times that I dislike myself and can't stand to be around me...unfortunately I am stuck with me......

.Yes as someone wrote some emotions are justified. We still should be able to feel. Some feelings and emotions are justified and we don't want to be flat lined without feeling anything.If we have a bad day...its a bad day probably because it just is. Its not failure.

I have been visiting a neighbor for eight months every nite to watch tv for an hour. I finally, after guilt felt days, told her that I will not be able to do it so much as I have some problems of my own right now. She is a nice lady and 102, but it began to be a job I held for six days a week. I will say I feel so much better now that I am free to have a nite all to myself."To thine own self be true"...Its so hard to follow that...I am rambling here but it was taking a toll on me more then I could have imagined!! I will still go there occasionally now, but not with that rigid schedule. As it is, I see her every day anyway as she always comes over for me to help her with something......

Sorry Elana.....but I wanted to get this out rather then a whole new thread....anyway its about anxiety and my anxiety in having to be responsible for her social needs!!

Feel better!!! Grouchy seems to go with our territory of depression and anxiety!!

Hugs and hugs;

What, usually you just let her sleep? Ba-da-bum!

(sorry, that's one of my favorite old jokes)

Hi Elana, sorry your struggling, and the others are right, sometimes we just have bad days. I can relate to sometimes feeling that you are not being productive enough, keep making efforts to find work, many are having a hard time in that department so be easy on yourself.

Are you taking the Zoloft at night? I am not on anything right now because my experience has been that some, including Zoloft have made me sleepy in the past and my therapist suggested that with medications like Zoloft it may be better to take it at night, just a thought for you to consider.

Be good to yourself and patient with yourself. Times are tough for everyone right now in this crappy economy, you not alone in feeling stuck at times.

Keep your chin up.

Open Eyes