...

mommy an daddy hate me

stupid post

feel very small maybe no one will notice this, or me

they dont



kay

((Star))
Not a stupid post.
And, I notice you. I see your tears.
Sorry you are struggling right now.

they hate me they hate me they hate me

causeim bad. im a horrible daughter

im a disappointment an a failure

i only give them reasons to hate me

but i'll leave them alone now, soon enough i'll go away

Geez Star...it is hurting me to see you in this much pain.
I sure understand though.
I feel the same way and sometimes those feelings take over every thought in my head.
How can I assure you I care?

its not just thoughts and feelings its the %#@&#! reality of it

thank you for caring. i've talked to some people i know and they try to convince me they care. but what does it really matter if the people that made you cant love you

it doesnt matter and i dont matter

ill leave them soon enough. all i have is time.

PLease call someone...please stay safe.
I understand the hurt.
And, I understand when people caring doesn't seem to matter. I have said that to my T before...just because people care isn't enough to keep me alive.
But, right now it seems you are in trouble w/ staying rational and safe...so please contact someone who can help you.

how was i being irrational? i dont know. right now i feel very calm, maybe coming to terms or just stupidly forgetting the hurt so i can let it come back and punch me in the head again. either way i feel calm, just tired. is probably why.

and i never said i'd die. i said i'd go away, but never said where. besides, not supposed to talk about the big S word here. such taboo.

the only person that could ever keep me safe is me. i dont know if theres anybody that will help. to hell with calling stupid helpline/hotline phone centers. dont tell me you understand and dont tell me you care, make it go away. you dont understand you dont know whats happened and how could i possibly tell you over the phone the history of events that led up to this point. it doesnt matter. and okay its supposed to help you for that moment, but one time it wont.

oh well. i'll shush. im babbling and im annoyed now. grrrr people. im starting to like people less and less everyday.

and i would like to apologize. i've been mean
im bad

(((((((((((((((Kay))))))))))))))))

~Hold on dear you aren't bad just hurting. It's really painful when family can't seem to care the ways we need them too, I'm so sorry you have felt hurt.

~Down

If you could tell what is going on we might be able to understand and help, becoming annoyed at someone just because your hurting is not fair to the person trying to help, everyone here cares because we share the same pain give us a chance to help
Laura
ps
Susan is only trying to help and so is downsolong these people really care

I keep reading these posts and it makes me realize that there are a a lot of people who jsut have no one to really care about them in this life...... There may be people who say they care but it seems like if you dont care about yourself then no one is going to save you.......... it brings home just how lonely I feel even though I'm surrounded by people..........no one really cares about me......... If I dont just figure out a way to care about myself , then either I'll continue or I wont........ and life will either go on or it wont and everyone else will jsut go on or they wont and in a hundred years or so none of us will even exist.........so aint it kinda a ruthless joke, this life we live, in pain

Im sorry.

I just dont understand how parents can be more hurtful than a stranger. But then they do know what gets you angry and how you think an all. I just dont understand why they'd want to use that against you. They're supposed to love me. They love the other two. But at least most of the time they give me the great courtesy of just plain ignoring me.