erased,thats right bleh,couldnt delete

[Sabrina]

I'm sorry you're struggling wolfsong!

Thinking of you, wolfsong.

((((((Wolfsong))))))

I hope you are feeling better soon, Wolfsong!

[Rohag]

Wolfsong, please indulge me some introspection.

Originally Posted by Wolfsong

wolfsong is acquiescing to her 'life' sentence

I wonder if that is what has happened to me over time. Over the years being depressed and nearly useless has become my "normal." I don't like it, yet this state is comfortable in that I don't feel as bad, or simply don't feel, most of the time. Every once in a while I explode all over myself in a fit of self-derogation. Those incidents have become fewer.

I toy with the idea that maybe it's better not to focus on "getting better." Too much focus on "healing" can get in the way of being and living the life that is. Hmmm...?

Thank you.

[Mediator]

wolfsong
I confirm I hate my life. I live in sharing house. I do not have friends, I do not have a good health, I have a job which I do not like, I do not have a boyfriend, I do not have enough money,

I will go look for my boyfriend, I decided it.

I hope my sharing did not make your situation more worst

Rohag,you have conceded to the credence that your life is nearly useless.And further,that being"nearly useless" is your norm.Certainly an attitude which is self-derogatory ....especially if malingering,is very much a ruinous weight.I beg to differ with you,on your view that your life is useless,because in my experience,one does not ponder such a thing ......without a coexisting concern about their effect on others,and a degree of introspection.That in and of itself is a whispering hint of concern that one desires of doing better,contributing more,etc.Our self assessments are rather brash.....biased as well,in that, we cannot see ourselves from observers stance.Therefore some of us can be judge and jury toward ourselves,despite being unsuited for the task.Aside from which.... life is to accomplish more than being useful.It is for the evolution of our spirits within.(working on getting better,doing better).Personally,my focus of late has been very much leaning in on self improvement and taking inventory.I have always been a warden where my own faults lay.My perspective when posting 'life sentence' emanated from a stance of retrospection, in that, I see my life as something in which I am offered no choice.I must selfishly suck up the air around me,for to decide to 'end this' would be an ultimate act of selfishness because it would influence others,and leave a wake of victims in its path if I ended it.I cannot concur ,therefore, with the deep desire I have to cease breathing.Your contemplation of focus not being appropriately laid upon the concern of 'getting better' and choosing to shift it instead to concern with living the life that 'is' ,is an appropriate and functional focus shift.It is where your power lies.((((()))))....for you Rohag.

((((Mediator)))))....I am sorry that you are feeling very unfulfilled with the circumstances of your life.It hurts,I understand.What steps can you take to locate some peace?What would you be able to do in order to live away from those with whom you are sharing a residence? Save money? Look for a better housing situation that brought you more comfort?How could you actively put yourself in situations to begin to find people with whom you could develop a friendship?Go to a park,volunteer?Start conversations with people that you encounter?What can you do to expose yourself to different work?Are there programs you can take to learn new skills?You are aware of "Google" ?Type it into your computer,and enter the part of the world or country that you live in,and search for community programs offering training,or consider looking in the 'help wanted' for opportunities in your general area.To meet new people,go to park,or shopping areas,or places like the beach....to put yourself in a position to have a conversation with others.No sweet heart,your words did not make my situation worse,it helped me because I wanted to think about making you feel better,and could stop thinking of just myself.So .....thank you,and I mean that.Hug hug hug. ~W~

In reference to my original post,I wanted to elaborate on the feelings which inclined me to post in the first place.They are that I was pondering my life's circumstance and feeling dissatisfied,and disillusioned in the sense that I forgot I am not the only person struggling with situations which are dissatisfying.lol.......we all have our cross to bare,don't we?Leave it to a human to sit and feel as if they were the only one suffering lol.Hugs for all that long for them.~W~

[Mediator]

Originally Posted by wolfsong

((((Mediator)))))....I am sorry that you are feeling very unfulfilled with the circumstances of your life.It hurts,I understand.What steps can you take to locate some peace?What would you be able to do in order to live away from those with whom you are sharing a residence? Save money? Look for a better housing situation that brought you more comfort?How could you actively put yourself in situations to begin to find people with whom you could develop a friendship?Go to a park,volunteer?Start conversations with people that you encounter?What can you do to expose yourself to different work?Are there programs you can take to learn new skills?You are aware of "Google" ?Type it into your computer,and enter the part of the world or country that you live in,and search for community programs offering training,or consider looking in the 'help wanted' for opportunities in your general area.To meet new people,go to park,or shopping areas,or places like the beach....to put yourself in a position to have a conversation with others.No sweet heart,your words did not make my situation worse,it helped me because I wanted to think about making you feel better,and could stop thinking of just myself.So .....thank you,and I mean that.Hug hug hug. ~W~

Dear Wolfsong
I thank you for your long reply, I think I start to think seriously to move. I live in the UK which I thought will be suitable for me but it is not. You wrote to go to beach but here is not warm I would like to go to beach. I know what I want to do and it is difficult because I need a help. I would like to move to India and teach meditation, to be at warm place with a man who loves me and I love him.
I really appreciate your post.
Take care
Mediator