It just keeps getting worse...

I just wrote a whole essay and I accidentally erased it. Basically, unemployed, 3 months behind on rent, no income, no one to ask for help, live alone, on meds, really depressed and anxious but not suicidal, tired of struggling on my own, keep inviting people into my life hoping they will help, I only wind up getting used, Go places to ask for help, get stares of disapproval, feel like people are judging me, hate being around people and in public, scared, don't want to be homeless but that's what it's looking like will happen, wonder how I will take care of my plants, feel embarrassed and just low, low, low. Mad at myself and others who I thought I could depend on, but that's useless. Just like me. People always said I had so much potential when I was growing up, but I never used it. Guess they were right. Now I guess the 3rd times a charm, and I really will be out on the streets. During the holidays. If I make it through this, I'll give as much as I can to charities. Just feel terrible and the world seems dark. The days seem dimmer. Just wish I could disappear and not have to suffer anymore...

hang on, make god you companion, have faith, good times will surely come, this is a test for you, it will only make you a better human being. I am going through a similiar phase, but carrying on with the hope of good times ahead.

Sorry you are having such a hard time right now.

When I was depressed, I had a wife and a job and a house and a car, and I STILL felt terrible. I shudder to think what would have happened to me without those vital elements of support.

I'm sad that you are in this postion and I hope your life improves.

I don't know what to say. I hope things work out for you.