[Overcastbutclearing]

I try to get things out and no one understands.
I try to feel better...but I don't believe there is a cure.
I try and believe in myself and realize that is false hope.
I try to hide behind the many walls I have built only to find myself sad, hurt, angry and alone.
I try to live one more day...only to wish a big hole would swallow me up.

[complic8d]

((((((((((((((((sj)))))))))))

[nothemama8]

Susu, been there , done that
It does get better and with your friends we will get you through this
Love
Angie

[LadyDragus]

oh sweetie do you need your dragon again..

I will fly to you tontie to help you sleep and hopefuly have a good nights sleep...
i am here for you.. Do not ever forget that ok.

Love to you my darling ok.

*** here comes your dragon****

[Overcastbutclearing]

Imagine if you will how I feel....
It is like I am on a huge circle of the strongest glue in the world and I am fighting like Hell to get unstuck but I am going nowhere.
I mean, I am trying every move possible. Which means taking advice from T, friends...Pc....but yet...still STUCK.
The only thing I am doing is actually creating the hole I may soon fall in.
It is unbelievable how I cannot get any breaks.
When I begin to feel better it quickly goes away with me doing something to sabotage.
And, when I feel like S*H*I*T ...well...so much easy to hurt myself in so many different ways to keep the goodness away.
The Monster inside of me is desparately trying to kill me.
And, I am so much weaker then the Monster!

[Lexicon78]

Please hang in there. I know, from what you've described, how terribly awful it is to be where you are right now. No, we cannot say we know exactly how you feel, but we have all seen our own version of that dark hole. Some days I am there, some days I am not.

Like I know that whatever happiness I feel, comfort I feel, or love I feel is all false...like a mask. But for some reason I keep reaching for the real version of all those things.

[Azalysa]

{{{{{{sj}}}}}}

I care, hon. I know it's hard, so hard...but that's what we're here for...to support each other. My "pm door" is always open.

[hazeleyes]

(((sj))) you are not alone, that's all I know. We deserve to be happy. Let's work together ok?
hazeleyes

[hazeleyes]

*sigh* I wrote a long post which seemed to have vanished to planet NonExisting. Trying to get my thoughts back....I wanted to tell you to not listen to the "monster" and try to find the good voice within you. I feel different and I'm not sure what I've done and I won't be shocked if I fall again tomorrow, altho, I will feel my feelings and not act on the monster.....I'll get my own fairy to help me with all my wishes. I'll accept what is and what is not.... I'll JUST DO IT, breathing exercises...yoga...work out...walks...whatever it takes... Do it even if I don't feel like it. If I'm sad I will cry and if I'm feeling a slight bit of happiness I will smile. I will try to give love to others..... We need to be here...to give to others. Yes? Need a fairy? What makes you feet better? Talk to me...

[LadyDragus]

my beautful SJ ... I love you with all my heart and I am here for you ok.

I know how that hole feels, trust me, I stand on the very edge of my hole daily, I circle it, while flying away to help others just like you.
I know how hard it is to be in this mood all the time.

I will breath fire on the glue that has you stuck, and try to help you as much as I can ok