running out of words

world just seems too cold.

I hear you on that point. This world is too cold. Just remember that amidst all the coldness, there are a few warm people hiding!

Yes, it sure seems that way sometime.

But like Lexicon said there is people with kind heart. People who cares about others.

I also understand that sometime there is no more words too express yourself. Words are frozen somewhere in our mind. Communication is at a stop. Maybe they are just resting or they need time to fall into place. But it does come back.

We are here and we do care and we do understand.

(((((((((Hazeleyes))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((hazeleyes))))))))))))))))))))))

I am with you there

PM me any time (even to growl!)
Bearhugs
Fuzzy

(((((hazeleyes))))))

I'm sorry the world is so cold, but that just means we needs all of us huddled together to generate some warmth. I'm not sure how warm I am, but if I get together (even via internet) with people we all warm up. So take some of my warmth, since helping you makes me warmer.

The world does seem like a very cold place sometimes. I can tell you though, the past few weeks I've been out each day and I find warmth everywhere--in stores, doctor's offices, even state bureaucratic offices, here...

To find the warmth, though, you have to climb out of the 'fridge and go where it can find you--sometimes you have to provide the spark, a kind word or a smile...but you'll find it all over.

I know it is hard, I spend way too much time in the fridge myself...but I keep trying to climb out. You can, too!

DJ

((((hazeleyes)))
When you feel the chill of the world biting against your skin, wrap yourself in the warmth of the care and support you have with your friends/family and here at PC.
Sometimes the bonechilling frost destroys the goodness that is trying to grow from our open wounds and it can knock us down a bit...but let us rise up w/ energy and a glow that can soften the hard icy cold.
When others have no smile...offer them yours!

(((Lexicon, time, Fuzzy, LD, DJ and sj)))) I can feel the warmth from all of you. It almost makes me cry.... I had no idea that I would be "sick" for this long. One day I feel like half way up the mountain, the next I'm crawling with the crabfish at the bottom of the sea. I'm frustrated, confused, sad, angry, feeling hopeless, trying so hard, exhausted...easily stressed...low self-esteem, withdraw myself from the world and people....my mind is not working and I'm questioning everything. I'm dealing with my past, the now and the future all at once. I am on sick-leave now until feb then I don't know, and I'm not sure I can start working...not knowing what I'd do either??? I'm ashamed of being sick and weak because I've always had that strong mask. I am afraid of myself and other people. Negative thoughts flooding my brain. No matter how hard I try, there's not enough energy.... burned out... errrrgggg now I feel bad for venting and complaining. All I want is FEEL OK, give to others.....share the love that is inside me, but I'm so torn and keep falling.... Afraid this won't end.

{{{{{{hazeleyes}}}}}

I can really feel your distress. A lot of what you wrote was pretty much how I felt maybe 2 weeks ago. I'm also on leave from work and everytime I went to pdoc it seemed he just gave me more meds or increased dosages that made me feel sicker.

I mainly made a circuit in my apartment from bed to kitchen, feed cat, eat some sort of breakfast (or nothing), take morning meds, back to bed, until I couldn't stand that any longer and basically repeated that. Never peeked outside for DAYS errrrr, maybe even weeks.

I honestly was at the point that I felt I would never recover. I was scared about money and even if I did go back to work, anxious about how my supervisor will view me.

Then I went out last week a couple of times, once to see a movie with my Mother that she very much wanted to see. I didn't think I could get out of bed and taking a shower/washing my hair was akin to climbing Mt. Everest. But I didn't want to let my Mother down. So I did...and felt wonderful!

Went to see my T. yesterday then had dinner/visited with my mother and again felt good.

So there is definitely some interaction between feeling badly and getting outside. I'm not saying it's a cure but to start a day feeling the way I've been feeling for 3 months and just "happen" to feel better by the afternoon is interesting.

Oh, and mood swings - during my worst time, I went to a friend's graduation party and spent my time either talking with friends, enjoying the party, or breaking into tears.

I know just saying "hang in there" sounds so trite, but just having come out of the darkness I can believe it for you too!!!!

*HUGS*