Running away

Warning: I'm venting...sorry if it doesn't make sense:

Everytime I thinking about my past I just get...so...emotional.

I feel like a wild beast that can't be controlled.

Sometimes I think I need more than therapist to fix my problem...I feel like I need 100 years of solitude.

I feel like I just need to run away.

But you know what they say about running away...

(((safe hugs))) Feeling "the need" to run away is SOOOO PTSD!

Hi Valis,

I have had similar problems, it’s a way of coping with overwhelming feelings, and thoughts, which Trauma and Abuse has embedded into our minds and hearts. Therapy has helped me understand, that old coping mechanisms, including the need to runaway, are part of the Traumatic reliving of past events. If you don’t mind, I can share a few tools that have helped me over the last few months.

Affirmation statements:

I am not alone (any abuse or trauma victim can relate to feeling so terribly alone, with no one to hear their cries and/or safe person to turn, especially if the Trauma was chronic and abusive in nature)

I am cared for (again, the feeling of isolation and dealing with things by oneself, starts a repetitive cycle of thinking that no one cares, it’s almost a form of self brainwashing, it keeps you silent, why talk to anyone if “no one cares” or “no one would understand”, or “it will only make things worse” ) *I chose to use the word “for” instead of “about”, because I care “about” allot of things, but being cared “for” supports the previous affirmation statement, “I am not alone”, that someone truly cares for me, and not just about me.

I do not have to Runaway (the need to Runaway from the uncontrollable tide of feelings, images, and other internal mechanisms that PTSD initiates when something triggers the cycle) * Again, I chose to use the word “have” to overcome the word “need”, what this has done is allowing for choice. I choose to fight the “need”, to allow whatever it is that is encompassing me at that moment, to process, endure it, and use the first two statements, to hopefully release the “need’s” grip over my behavior and thinking.

I am sorry for being so wordy, but again these have helped me over the last few months, and by sharing them I hope to offer my support and comfort to you. Please take care, and hope you find that you are not alone with your struggles here and find strength to fight the “need” to Runaway from the horrible emotional burden which you are struggling with.

I hear ya on this one!

I know I am constantly running away from people and just avoiding them altogether. I could easily be a hermit. Unfortunately, society won't let people like us do that.

Hang in there!

Thanks for the hugs Sky.

Thanks for the such words of wisdom Evangelista.

Thanks for being able to relate Lexicon78.



I believe that I can really relate to the cycle of apathy associated with PTSD.

I know that it is real important to understand the difference between being cared "for" and being cared "about". Sometimes though, lines between such concepts seems to blur...especially when one feels like the only way to cope with thier problems is by dealing with them alone...by solving them alone.

...But at the same time, I know that all problems cannot be solved solely on my power to be able to endure them.

Basically, it just seems so hard to tell yourself that your not alone, your cared for, and you don't have to runaway when your past life experinces have shown you otherwise. You know?


Thanks for the advice and letting me know that even though I seem alone, there are people out there who are willing to show me that I'm not "all by myself" (no matter how much I believe the contrary).

Valis, finding safe space in which to touch down, set a root or two and get on with healing is quite a challenge.

Running away can take so many forms. Can last the full spectrum of time..... Do you have a way to get away for a bit of personal time on a regular (daily or more often) basis to clear your mental pathways and calm your nerves? Listen to music with earphones while staring at the sky or a tree or or or? Go for a nature walk? Meditate?

I agree with hillbunnyb...running away CAN take different forms... one place I go is the movie theater... it's dark and cool and... you know?

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Valis said:
Basically, it just seems so hard to tell yourself that your not alone, your cared for, and you don't have to runaway when your past life experinces have shown you otherwise. You know?

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Your life has actually shown you both cases, I betcha. It's the significance of the failures, though, that stands so starkly tall.

FEAR. False Expectations Appearing Real.

You run from an expectation. It may not be rational, in any respect. But, you do have final say on that.

You can change the ending on your tape. The scenes that flash through your mind end tragically. But, as director of the rest of your life, you can snip out that sad ending, and recast new players and new endings, to finish out that scene in a more self-affirming way.

When you run, you go with you. And so does that old tape. It's as if something creapy was taped to your back, and every time you look back there, you see it again. Until you realize that it's a trick. A trick of the mind, in fact. Not funny. But a trick, nonetheless.

Running doesn't change the ending on the tape. In fact, it might reinforce it.

I think that finding new people to fill the roles in our lives is a better solution. It's hard to cast those roles. Some people are dang good actors. But, there are some perfect "actors", the ones for whom it isn't an act.

If you can manage to bring up copies of tapes that include these good folk, instead of the ones with the scary folk, you can change your emotional environment. You can change the set of your life.

Lar