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#1
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I saw my psychiatrist today...she said I was getting better again...and that I looked better...
Weird....because I don't feel better. Well, I do, but not "normal". A lot of my symptoms have gone away...as soon as I leave this area, which I hate (to see psychiatrist), my mood lifts. She is about 10 min from my hometown in a very populated area. I feel so much better with people around.... I then went to see an old friend who I lived with for a year (also 10 min from hometown)...It was so nice. The minute we got back on the highway to come here I was thinking ugh. Yuck. No. I live on a highway. I can't change it. No friends. The minute I am back in familiar territory I start feeling like I want my life back. I am so confused. I was thinking jobs. Corporate. I want to go back to school. Anything. There is so much to do back there, so much to fill a day with... And then I come "home"...Cows. It's probably all PTSD stuff and I am coming out of it. I don't know. I just feel like the whole world opens up when I go back to where I am used to. There is no easy "transition"...I have to just get a job and leave, do everything, new roommates...it's overwhelming.
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Stop looking around you have already arrived. |
#2
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Actually, you sound better to me, too. If you compare this post to some of your initial ones at PC, there is "present and future" emphasis... your earlier posts were focused on "past"... "future" seemed like a concept you weren't ready to deal with back then.
I'm happy for you, Yack! ![]() ![]() ![]()
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thatsallicantypewithonehand |
#3
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Thanks LMo
Hmmmm.... People with PTSD ruminate on the past..that's what it is...The present sort of disappears while you get "stuck" in everything else. I am a survivor of abuse. I react to everything. Movies with a crime theme send me reeling. I am just afraid that there is not enough out here to distract me... Who knows. Maybe not.....my head is clearing. Disappearance of intrusive horrendous thoughts. The best way I can describe it is being smacked over the head repeatedly with stuff, like a broken record playing again and again. It's going away.
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Stop looking around you have already arrived. |
#4
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I can smack you repeatedly over the head with my jokes, but you'd probably be happier with a 2x4 or a fly swatter...
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thatsallicantypewithonehand |
#5
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Very funny....
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Stop looking around you have already arrived. |
#6
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I'm the same way. Where I was abused a lot was in a certain town. When I'm halfway between my dad's town and this other town (where mom lived) my anxiety goes through the roof and I become panicky. I am so glad to get back home to my dad's town. I have actually moved from that terrible town to the same area where my dad lives now. It's very nice.
It's funny. You are exactly the opposite of me. I like the country, while I detest the city. I'd rather not be around people than be where I had no privacy to do anything in my own yard... Hang in there. You're slowly getting there.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey |
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