I didn't go.

I have been trying to keep myself distracted this week, doing something each day to get through the time... (did I tell you? T is out of town till Monday)

I had an invite to a dinner.

I also had an invite to a get together to discuss starting something fun.

I tried. I was able to get my manicure (one day) pedicure (another day) and my hair cut (another day)...

I didn't go... to anything, any night.

I pushed myself to go out today... was terribly late to one thing (they were leaving as I arrived.) I came home. I wanted to go out and eat well not a meal,but desert and drink. And I rationalized how there wouldn't be room for just one on Saturday night, the restaurant's crowded and and and... That's what I do. I didn't go.

So here I am again, and posting about it which I don't always do (not compared to how often it happens)... maybe by posting... I can change things? Big sigh.

(((_sky)))
Sorry you are having such struggles.
Glad you came here to get it out a little.
Do you have an idea of why you are shutting down a little?
Would you have done these things if T not out of town?

(((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))

you do so incredibly well. i see alot you DID do.

kd

I am sorry Sky..I pretty much make myself do something out of the house every day... dont be hard on yourself..I know what its like to be T-less ...it makes every struggle you have anyways..worse than it would be normally...I hope tomorrow you go out so you dont beat yourself up

Hugs

Yeah. I probably overdid and now I'm struggling with fatgue..depression? duh. I wouldn't have done all that in one week.. maybe not even in two weeks.

But I haven't had psychotherapy to drive to and engage in etc...

I have something someone has invited me to tomorrow... I've not said no, yet... but won't really know till tomorrow, eh? sigh. T will be back tomorrow night, actually...

you know where I'm "at"... things happen each day that normally the T would help me unstress from/work through... and now..each day those things pile up stress-wise (but not in my memory to hold and share Monday)

depressive fatigue. yeah. Tks buds

Sky yeah I soooo know...I do do a lot but know that extra drag in my step when T is outta reach and that 7 weeks I went was hell..I will be T-less that long or longer again..You said you didnt say no YET...SOOOO go T will be back tomorrow call him and go out even for a bit ..it MAY make you feel a tad better

hugs

(((((((((((((Sky))))))))))))))))

I hope that you are a bit better today!

Sky try taking a drive to your T's office sit in front and voice yourself, express everything your feeling, then drive back home it might help

Thank you all for your support. I'm trying to get it together to go to that gathering today... traffic might be tough (even though it's only 3 miles away) cuz there's a big BIG public event (only 2 miles away) in the area.

My T's office is over 30 min away I'll be ok (or he wouldn't have left "me" ..and his other patients) His partner was on call, and I've seen him before too...

I just wish I could do things... I used to.. rut roh no... I can't keep thinking that way.. BA (before accident) that was another life..no "used to"s allowed

Hey _Sky...Hope you do get out today. It will be good for you.
I am around if you want to PM me.
Tomorrow is Monday and your T will be back in office...

Thanks all.

I'm still depressed over this, even though I'm trying to block thinking about all of it. So what? No one missed me at those places. It's not like I'm important or anything.. and maybe it would have been worse (for them and/or me) if I had gone.

I have a meeting tomorrow night, no input required, just show up. That's what I'll do. Just show up. No one wants to hear what I have to say, anyway.

And I have T in day also. Now if I can not look as depressed as I am..what with this, and with my MD denying the old med instead of the AmbienCR (and treating me like an addict)... and managing the pain from the SI being out (again.)...

big deal, it's not like I'm important, you know? Got to be more humble.

Well, again I say, "I didn't go." I have one meeting a month that I really don't have an option of not going to, if I wish to stay involved. (I mean, I agreed, you know?)

I didn't go. Does it matter why? I know why, and it's not an "excuse" but what difference does it really make? They didn't see me, I didn't get there... no interaction, no socializing, nothing...

Saw T again today... not till Monday now...

I'm supposed to play computer games for 4 days to distract myself or something? IDK. Guess that's better than wondering why I'm still around.

Computer games are fun. Maybe a good book would help too. Hope things are better soon.