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#1
Nov 29, 2011, 05:12 AM
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'Cause I'm starting to think that depression is like the friend that moves into your basement, and you sort of forget they're there except when they take your food or watch TV all night, or track mud in, and all of a sudden, it's been two years, and they're still there.
 Well, I've been feeling depressed since I was 7. I'm 23 now. Yeah, it gets better sometimes. But then I end up feeling awful again. I took the depression screening quiz for the first time in 2006 and got 43. Took it yesterday and got 71. Er...  I've been diagnosed with depression for...4 years now? I think? Maybe 5 years already, I don't know. I've been in therapy 4 times, too, but none of it has ever really helped. Never been on medication. Everyone tends to focus on my anxiety and PTSD problems, and just...ignores the depressive feelings entirely, unless I admit to having self-injurious or suicidal thoughts, upon which I'm treated like I'm about to throw myself off the edge of the world.  (Which is very annoying because I know when I'm in actual danger of harming myself, and when I just have the feelings. Someone freaking out about it...is really aggravating.)Just...wish it would ever actually go away for good. My mood does lift, it's not all a miasma of despair. But I always crash back down, and I'm really tired of it.  No matter what I do.
__________________
Whoever fights monsters must see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks into you.-Nietzsche "Neither the angels in heaven above, nor the demons down under the sea, can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee." |
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#2
Nov 29, 2011, 06:51 AM
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Quote:
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In depression . . . faith in deliverance, in ultimate restoration, is absent. The pain is unrelenting, and what makes the condition intolerable is the...feeling felt as truth...that no remedy will come -- not in a day, an hour, a month, or a minute. . . . It is hopelessness even more than pain that crushes the soul.-William Styron |
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#3
Nov 29, 2011, 10:12 PM
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I always wonder the same thing. Are you against taking meds? Some people seem to have success with it. In my opinion I don't think that depression will go away completely because it's a natural emotion like being angry or being happy. It's just find the right thing that will help decrease the overwhelming feeling of being depressed & to help push it away every time it starts to resurface. It's hard, but gotta find something that will help kick depression's butt 8)
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#4
Nov 29, 2011, 10:33 PM
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So you could try therapy again, specifying to the counselor that you want treatment specific to depression. it may be in the past the T's felt your depression was linked to the anxiety and PTSD so if they treated those symptoms your depression would lift.
your other option is medication. it has changed the world for me. I have been depressed, much of it suicidal depression, for most of my life. I have anxiety, PTSD as well. I was always against meds but things were so bad I realized I had no choice but to try them. I was put on Wellbutrin for the depression. That and therapy, everything seemed to come together. I never dreamed that I would ever be free from depression I was so hopeless. I took them consistently for at least a year, then off and on for a few months at a time if I felt depressive symptoms coming on. I have been off antidepressants for over a year now and have been doing fine without them. |
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#5
Nov 30, 2011, 02:49 PM
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In my experience when I became extremely depressed a couple years ago I went to see a therapist weekly and was taking anti-depressants... after a few months I started feeling much MUCH better and I slowly weened myself off of my anti-depressants (with doctors permission). I made small changes in my life like exercising and eating better and trying to remain positive about most things... it's a lot of work but you truly can feel better if you give it all you got. I hope you get to feeling better soon. 
__________________
The only way out of depression is through it. |
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