Brother coming to see me

I live 3 hours away from my family and actually have not seen my brothers for about 1.5 or 2 years. That would be the last time I went to Montreal because of my struggle of leaving the house.

I did see my mom over the Christmas holidays when she came up by train to see me.

With everything going on, my mom is playing the telephone game with my brothers.

So on Friday one brother emailed and asked if he could come and see me on Sunday to chat and that he really wanted to give me hug.

I said yes but I am sooo anxious now, the cuts on my arm are going to freak him out. I'm sure mom has told him but he has never seen it and these are the worst ever.

I could wear a long sleeve shirt but I tend to be hot most of the time.

I'm scared and feel guilty that he is driving all this way to see me. I know I am going to breakdown and ball when I see him.

I'm not sure why I decided to post this.

you are very brave, Wolfie, to let yourself be so vulnerable to love. i wish you all the best, and hope they accept the scars of your pain... Best Wishes, Gus

I think it's great your brother wants to see you. PLEASE don't be afraid of showing your brother your TRUE emotions. That's what our siblings are for -- to help & support us. He will certainly understand (or at least try to) .

Are you in therapy? I certainly hope so -- you cannot keep cutting yourself, dearheart. You aren't to blame for anything that happened -- don't punish yourself like that. You are important to ALOT of people! Please remember that!

I wish you the very best. God bless & let us know how the visit goes. Hugs, Lee

It sounds like this is about him too. He wants to see you. He misses you and wants to wrap his arms around you in a warm brotherly hug

Do you think you could wear something light weight but long sleeved and be a little warm, just for the visit?
Or, could you tell him ahead of time that he will see the cuts?
(I don't know, just thinking out loud, but possibly subconsciously you wouldn't mind if he sees, as they represent your deep pain )

So, he's coming to see you. Will you make a cake? Bake cookies? Some other kind of snack to munch on while you chat? Will you have music playing in the background?
It sounds as if you feel this is a kind of invasion. Making plans for the visit, like snacks, coffee, tea, soda, etc can help you feel in control.

Well he got here early as I had just taken a laydown, even with Seroquel last night I wasn't able to sleep. We had a really good chat and I started off with a sweatshirt on but it did come off.

He is dealing with his own stuff with meds and a Pdoc so he can relate to some of what I am feeling.

He said he will come again soon. I have been living away from Montreal for 11 years now, both my brothers have only come to see me once in all that time. I am the one who goes to see them and my mom, but now that leaving the house has become so hard it was nice that my brother came.

He came with food for the freezer and a friend of his made chicken and soup for us. And 2 dozen Montreal bagels, BONUS!
The two large boxes of cat litter will be really helpful and the cash he handed me.

Of course he mentioned ordering Pizza because I eat once a day and hadn't today and well I never pass up pizza. Bribary I tell you!

Leed funny you used the term dearheart. My wife uses that term for me. No I am not in therapy, I am trying to get that but it seems impossible unless you can pay for it or admit yourself to the hospital.

ECHOS bake cookies? Not on my best day. Gave him instant coffee though....

He was here about 4 hours and it was nice and I do know that he is there for me. It is hard to rely on others sometimes whether it be because of guilt or feeling weak.

Thanks for the replies it does mean so much.