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Old Dec 08, 2011, 08:34 PM
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midget84 midget84 is offline
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Location: Georgia
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Several years ago I was diagnosed with depression after my long-term boyfriend started cheating on me with multiple females. Just recently I broke up with my now ex and we tried to remain friends. Everything was going great until he started spending more and more time with his baby mama. He started to get verbally abusive towards me telling me that I'm worthless and will never amount to anything ever. I'm starting to get the same feelings and thoughts that I did when I was diagnosed.

I still deep down want to be his friend and even told him that he was the main reason I stopped hurting myself. His only response was that was my opinion and to let him know when I stopped with the drama.

I'm thinking relationships/boyfriends are my trigger o_O

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  #2  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 07:47 AM
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Leed Leed is offline
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Location: Michigan
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I don't think you should blame it all on boyfriends/relationships. It's just THIS ONE GUY that makes you feel "less than." He's certainly no prize if he cheats & says things that hurt you. I don't think I'd even want to be friends with him!!!

You might want to try to figure out what it was about him that attracted you to him. Look for the bad things in him, and then be sure to avoid anyone who has those bad traits. Sometimes we keep repeating the same mistakes, and if you avoid people who are similar to him, you'll be better off!

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee
  #3  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 08:22 AM
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porcupine2 porcupine2 is offline
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People, male or female, can be so cruel. Please don't hurt yourself over another's words or actions. Don't give them your power or satisfaction. They will never 'get it'. Is there a friend or therapist you can talk to? You found a great group of supporters on this site - I hope it will help.
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  #4  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 12:44 PM
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midget84 midget84 is offline
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Location: Georgia
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It was more then this last guy. My ex before this last one was physically abusive and cheated. This last one was verbally abusive. I have turned to friends who have been there for me for years and they have let me vent and cry. I have looked into possibly seeing a counselor if I need that extra support from an outside point of view.
  #5  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 07:52 PM
Severijn Severijn is offline
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Posts: 86
Hey midget84.

That guy just yes sounds abusive. I would cut contact with him. There's no reason to continue such a abusive relationship. Nothing but bad things come from it.

I also think the underlying problem here is a self-esteem issue. You also said your boyfriend before this guy was also abusive. If you have low self-esteem you often attract these kinds of people in your life. I really suggest improving your self-esteem as this will really benefit your relationships.

You should clearly establish your boundaries in a relationship early on. Something tells me you don't do that enough yet. Of course, there is no excuse for abusive behavior from someone, but it does work both ways. There is a victim and victimizer... they attract each other.

Well take care and I hope you get through your troubles.
  #6  
Old Dec 09, 2011, 09:00 PM
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Rohag Rohag is offline
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Hello & Welcome, Midget84!
Quote:
Originally Posted by midget84 View Post
It was more then this last guy.
Ah, a pattern. This is exactly the kind of issue where a trained counselor or therapist should be of value.

Make yourself at home! Be sure to check out the Relationships Forum, too.
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