[o.kay]

Don't know where to post this but...

After a horrible, miserable day- i've come to the conclusion that i do this to myself. Whether i do it because i'm trying to make up for Christmas past or my perceived belief of what Christmas should be or some other warped reason. i am at the root of my own despair.

i build up false expectations and set up a fairy tale scenerio that i know will/can never happen. And then i feel like a failure, unworthy & unloved. i drive myself into such a state that i begin to berate myself over every holiday that wasn't perfect and review all my short comings. It spreads to how i've been a failure my whole life, etc., etc.

i know this about myself--i must remind myself of this. Tomorrow is going to be a new day. i will not let: should be's, negativity & self pity to ruin the day. i will be grateful for what i do have and have the best Christmas possible.

[kaliope]

Holidays are hard, especially this time of year because there is so much stress on getting everything perfect, just the right gift, the beautiful meal, getting families together, so many expectations. And it is also a time that so much reflection is done on what has been accomplished over the year as well. But you know what? youre a grown up. you can make your own rules. what works best for your mental health. draw the boundaries there. for some of us, the fact that we made it thru the year alive is our greatest accomplishment. if you want to have TV dinners for a christmas meal, hey, thats ok. there has never been a perfect christmas. there wont be one as long as you have all the negativity in your head,thats were youve got to make it ok. not on the outside. so give yourself a break. lighten up. make it fun. hang in there.

[notz]

John Lennon said "Let It Be". Take 3 deep breaths and let it be. It will be that anyway, no matter your wishes, no matter your efforts - it will be.