[lookingforsunshine]

I'm 20 years old and I'm a sophomore in college, I just finished my 1st semester which has been especially tough for me. I have never been diagnosed with depression, I have been diagnosed with anxiety and am on medication for that and my doctor has recently raised my dose since "it seems like my anxiety has begun to cause depression." But what my doctor doesn't know is that I've been pretty depressed since I was like fifteen but it's been recently getting worse. I cannot remember the last time I've been actually happy or excited. And recently things have been getting worse and there are days when I just can't bring myself to get out of bed and I just don't want to talk to anyone or even eat and it seems like throughout the semester these days got more and more common and because of this my grades have started to suffer. For years I completely covered all this up and wouldn't tell anyone but recently I've began to tell some of my close friends some of my problems but they kinda just act awkward and change the subject so I'm thinking they don't really want to know and I've also told my mom a little of what I've been feeling and she wants me to feel better but I think shes kind of hoping it will just go away ( which I understand because there have been times when I've felt better and have told my self that from now on I'd never let myself get like that again, but it always comes back.) But what I really want to say is that I think I'm ready to get help now, it's just not easy to do. And my problem is I kind of want to take a semester off of school, I just feel like I need sometime to figure myself out without the stress of school and I also feel like being around parties and alcohol isn't what's best for me at this time. But I don't know if this is the right thing to do and I'm scared about what my friends who don't know about any of this will think and I'm also scared I wont be able to go back to school after this semester.
I guess I'm just looking for advice or something, I don't know... and sorry this was so long and rambly. I just felt like I needed to tell someone.

[Severijn]

Hi lookingforsunshine. If you quit school for a while, you run the risk of becoming more socially isolated, that almost always makes you feel worse.You might think it will do you good, but know that I also might make you feel worse. So just be careful.

I know what you mean when you talk about mental issues with your friends. Most people don't like to talk about it; it's too personal, threatening, unfamiliar, etc.

A better idea is to find a good therapist and talk to him/her about the things that are bothering you. Here you can find one in your area: http://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html

What worked for me to manage my depression better was reading self-help books. Have you ever tried this? Here are some ideas: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss...epression+work

Another thing that can help you feel a bit better is doing exercise 3 times a week. This way you'll have something to focus on, and it makes you feel better on the inside (a little usually), and besides, if you become more fit you'll feel better and more confident. Doing exercise helped me quite a bit.

I think the best step you can take is finding a good, qualified, skilled therapist, that can help you out with anxiety and depression. Medications sometimes work for depression/anxiety, but sometimes they don't, or don't work enough. If that's the case you should consider other options such as: therapy, self-help, and doing exercise. (Doing them together btw usually works better, if you have the energy at the moment).

Well take care.

[madisgram]

i was depressed for YEARS and hid it. after a proper dx my life has completely changed for the better. i encourage you to get professional help. you deserve to do that for yourself.

[porcupine2]

I understand how you feel. Especially wanting to isolate yourself. Finding a therapist, doctor, etc. especially this time of year can be a challenge and a lot of work. So glad you came to this forum for support. Make small reasonable goals instead of looking at the overwhelming big picture is the best advice anyone ever gave me. Hang in there!

My university had a mental health clinic for students which had free or low cost counseling. It was a life altering experience for me. Please find someone to talk to, even if you're not ready for therapy.

[depressedalaskan]

First post - well done. This shows that you are still fighting your depression. I to would not quit school if at all possible. Like the others have said it might get you to used to being alone. That is not good. I know, I am alone many hours a day. But I do have PC. I see that you are seeing a doctor, be honest with him / her they can not help you if you are not. Not sure if this is for you but you might copy your post and share it with your doctor. This would break the ice on your depression with them. Anyway keep posting here, you are not along, we all understand you. I hope you have a better new year. One other thing stay away form alcohol if you can, it really feeds your depression.