[katheryn]

just wandering if any body else knows of someone that wont cry , hubby hasnt cryed for a while doesnt think he deseves to but im like most females cry at lots of things good stuff bad stuff but even when we are talking i can see things are choking him up but he wont cry , hes still blaming himself for everything that happened last year but it takes two to fall out, i dont blame him and i have forgiven him for the things thtat happened but he cant forgive himself

[(JD)]

.... sorry to hear he's struggling... sounds to me like he needs to talk things out with someone he will listen to/agree with? A male friend or T...who has a head on his shoulders and can counter the maybe obvious self-blame? He's keeping things bottled up (as is custom for men in general) and what he's telling himself might be worse than what is reality....until he opens up, nothing can counter his thoughts, nor ease his feelings. Good wishes!

[JustBen]

That's a tough spot, Katheryn. I agree with Sky that he'd probably benefit from talking things over with someone, but I wouldn't push him too hard on that point if I were you. We guys can sometimes withdraw even futher if we feel like we're being pushed.

Just a thought - he may have been raised with the belief of boys and men do not cry / are not allowed to cry / crying is for girls/sissies / if you cry I'll give you something to cry for type of raising. this type of raising is not so far ago and in fact still runs with some children being raised today.

[katheryn]

thank you all for your advice hes seeing a councellor and a cpn and gp so hopefully he will work out all in the end ,
i know that things can go on for ages like normal then i end up arguing like this evening about something silly he doesnt allways respond, unless i push the argument to far then i see a temper didnt mean for things to go this way ,
as for the way he was brought up was he looked after his brothers and sisters, when he left home his mother still expected for him to look after them even though by then we were living togeather and i dont think there was much efection from the parents or there wasnt with the younger ones so i dont think there was with him either,

[Lexicon78]

I was with someone who had quite a bit of difficulty crying. Actually, my current bf has the same problem. But he has cried quite a few times with me. I know that he has gone without crying at funerals of family members and such. I think maybe sometimes when you go beyond a certain point, you can't cry.