Can other people trigger depression?

I know that this is a weird question, but... can other people in your life trigger your depression?

It seems like when I'm around some people my depression is worse than when I am not around them; even when we are not talking about, or doing, things that are potential triggers. Just being around them and things they may do, say, or expect of me make me irritable and depressed. Even the thought of being around them makes me that way. At times I don't even want to go home because I don't want to be around my mom. I love her but sometimes I get so irritable and/or depressed when around her. I have pretty much stopped hanging out with some of my friends because they make me feel the same way.

I don't know why this happens, it makes me feel guilty that I feel this way. But I want to move so I can get away from everyone here.

Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this? What can I do to not be this way?

Hello, Obsidianbutterfly!

Yes, I believe certain people can behave or communicate in ways that trigger responses/feelings that feed one's depression. How this happens differs from person to person.

Your situations reminded me of what I remember hearing about Transactional Analysis (TA) sometime in the past century. To use TA terms, is it possible that some of these people approach you as Parent->Child instead of Adult-Adult? Do you have trouble remaining an Adult when someone tries to interact with you as a Parent?

Hi, ObsidianButterfly! Oh, heck, yeah, other people CAN trigger depression. My mother has historically won the award for my best depression trigger. My former T could always count on a phone call the day after I would go visit my mother.

Also, sometimes other folks can be triggers for me, too. I know a couple of grumpy people who are always complaining, and I don't need that when I am having trouble being positive myself. As far as handling them, I just don't spend much time with them. In fact, no more than I have to. I even have to be careful about getting pulled down on PC, and I am careful how much time I spend trying to help other people who are in distress when I'm not very stable myself. It's not that I don't care, but I have to look after my own mental health, too. My T recommended this approach.

I am still learning to cope with my mother, after years of therapy. I am not as sensitive to her remarks as I once was, and I take them with a grain of salt.

I certainly don't feel guilty about avoiding the people who trigger me. I even just call or spend time with my mom after I prepare myself mentally, and put up that wall that she can't penetrate.

OButterfly, yep, no doubt about it. Mother, some toxic type friends...they can all put
put a person in a funk. The friend that is always down, the mother visiting from another state, and spending over a week with you in your home. Yikes, don't miss her much since she is gone....also was the contributor to my child-hood abuse, physically and mentally.
Hugs, bj

I agree too. While I was in therapy years ago one of the great pieces of advice my T gave me was,

"You need to be with positive people".

I believe it totally.

Hello there. :] I agree with you. Some of my friends, even though I know that they're trying to help out and all, they'll say things like "Just be happy... Don't think that way..." or anything else remotely similar to that causes me to be distressed and guilty. Some even deliberately make me feel guilty of being depressed and that feeling like that isn't "normal." So now I not only am I feel sad, I feel like an outcast. I wish my friends could have a better understanding of what I'm going through rather just tell me "don't feel that or don't do this."

so here is a question - if people can be negative and be a trigger for you....do you ever wonder if you are the trigger for other people?

Some times my thoughts get so negative, I feel like that if my friends were more picky, then they might just as well choose not to be friends with me.

It's like putting me in their place...why do they stay my friend?? You know?

Do your friends know that you suffer from depression? Do they understand depression? Your friends might just be friends. Not everyone knows how depression kills our bodies, minds and soals. May be your depression is telling you that these friends of yours are no longer your friends to push you back into a corner. Depression wants to controle all of you. Depression is not your friend push back, we need to contole it, not the other way around.

@doggiedo: i do know what you mean, i wonder that a lot about myself.

@depressedalakan: the ones who seem to get to me the most do know that I suffer from depression but I do not think that they truly understand depression as much as they think they do.

I've noticed that if someone in my life is generally unhappy I will project the most positive energy to that person that i can. The downside is with some people, they will take take take all that energy till you are drained so unless I find a way to refill that energy I end up feeling down. People feed off each others energy and don't realize it. Some people know how to feed each other energy without sucking each other dry. There's a book called

Book called what? Book called what??? D8

I'm pretty sure people can be triggers, though. My dad, as much as I love him, is a huge one for me. He's not ever mean to me or anything, but I just can't feel like myself around him. And that makes me feel horrible! There's also this kid next door that my little sister likes to hang with. She sends me into a black funk like you wouldn't believe.

Can we not post references to books? The celestine prohecy....

Yes, you are smart. People can be triggers. So can places, events, situations, sounds, tastes, thoughts, touch, animals, tv, colors, material, light or lack of light, intimacy, smells, objects, you name it. Memories get stored in the mind and body. Sometimes it takes something close to the "trauma" or the situation to trigger us emotionally. It may not make sense in the present but it's relationship to the past can help us become detectives and solve our mysteries. It sounds like you are becoming quite the expert sleuth yourself. Be kind and allow your process to take it's time. A respectful process is a healthy one. Good luck!
Hugs!
dazeofdolphins

obsidianbutterfly:

Yes! Absolutely. The human senses play some amazing tricks on our minds. Even just seeing a person in the corner of your eye can trigger things you don't even realize. Simply put, if you want to be happy, you need to be around cheery, joking, happy people. Also, I don't know if you're into studying personalities much, but they play a HUGE role in this game. There are four main types of personalities, and as others have said, you may have noticed that people have different energy levels and feed off of others. This is all very true. doggiedo is correct, you may not realize it but you also have influenced those very same people in their lives. If you think it is just not working out, it really is best to simply get away from them for a while. I'm available if anyone wants to pm me.

I believe that certain people and things can trigger depression. It happens to me all the time.

I don't know if I would call certain people triggers, per se. True clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance, thus the necessity for meds. However, people and their actions can trigger a stress reaction leading to anxiety and depression.

People who have not experienced depression can NOT understand what we go through. They can try, but they have no point of reference.