[ThePage]

So, I've been on the verge of trying to figure this out for a long while now. And, just recently, have I been able to both be clear headed enough to do it, as well as give that last little push. I've never talked to this, in particular, to anyone, and if this is in the wrong part of the forum, feel free to move it, or delete it, or something along with that.

I figure I'll give a little bit of information prior, so you might be able to get a feeling of the situation. I'm 17 years old, which, under normal circumstances, would've stopped me from posting (I'm not certain what the rules and regulations are, but some places require you to be 18), but recently I've gotten kind of sick of my situation. I was diagnosed last year with some form of chronic depression, but as my parents didn't want me on the medication, I currently go unmedicated, despite the psychologists opinion on the matter.

Anyway, my depression-having isn't entirely my question for you all. Sometimes, when I'm having even a mild episode (this goes for both anxiety as well as my depression) it seems like I have very limited to no access to my own thoughts. When I start thinking about them in anything other than a shallow manner, they just kind of lock up, and I feel like I'm staring at a blank wall.

I recognize the situation as if I were totally conscious of the matter. It's like I'm another person staring into my own head, and, at the same time, my thoughts are neither my own, nor are they available. I have full control over everything else, I just can't think clearly. Or, sometimes, at all.

I'm wondering if this is a symptom of the depression, or if this is another disorder I may not know about. Thanks for any information you might be able to toss my way, I'd appreciate it.

[Ds_Mommy]

Hi! I am glad you decided to share :-) I am not really sure what the regulations are here, either, but hope that you find what you are looking for.

I think that what you are describing can be completely normal for someone dealing with depression and/or anxiety. Most people describe it as "freezing." Maybe you can try to write down whatever thoughts are coming up for you at that point..they obviously are important enough that your mind wants you to pay attention only to them at that moment. Sometimes, once you give them their space, the thoughts/feelings will not be so strong anymore.

As far as the meds..I am not sure where you live, but in a lot of places, the age of consent for mental health treatment is 14 (or 16)..so you might be able to consent to the medications without parental consent. If you can't, however, or don't want to, there are also some natural things you could try..St. Johns Wort or 5-HTP maybe, look into them and see what you think.

And, keep talking here..it will help :-)

[Nams]

Welcome to PC ThePage.
Not a great one for advice but agree with Ds Mommy, that that blank wall is very common to a lot of us on here. I am aware of what I am feeling just not real sure why sometimes. I have been diagnosed with Chronic Depression among other things. I am not on medication (which works for Me) just regular open honest discussions with my Therapist and then there's this place. I have found here to be a great sounding board for when I need it. There are some great tools here that help me and even greater people.
Hope to see more of you on here.
PS: Luv the nickname.

Hugz
Nams

To begin with,there are youth here,It is fine that you are 17 to be on this site.

There are several mental disorders which can create the issues you experience,as well as nutritional causes.There are also physiological causes.No one here can/should attempt to diagnose you.Aside from which,if they are not correct,then you have the added worry for reasons that don't exist.

You say that your parents do not want you medicated.Well,choosing medication is a means of coping which I would think you should research.There are drawbacks with it.Like with not taking it regularly,mixing it with something else,the level of meeds being too high or low,and for you,being young,there are possibilities of interference with development.However,you have rights,But keep in mind that they are concerned,and want the best for you,correct me if I am wrong.
I have no idea where you live,so it is difficult to give you phone numbers that you can call to ask questions.But I found some toll free #'s

Try this below first,I am hoping the link works.It opens a google page with helps aimed at Teens.

https://www.google.com/search?ix=sea...bih=793&ix=sea

Or check out
Covenant House
or NineLine

I hope that helps.Take care ok?