[Christina86]

I'm a lousy person. I know that in order to make other people happy, I have to be happy. I know that in order to do something "constructive" with my life I have to get over all these hurdles. I know I have to change. I know that change is hard. I know that other better people have beaten this and been better for it, I just don't think I can do it.

I know that being this miserable for this long is bad. I know that constantly feeling like the worst person in the world isn't right. I know that feeling like the entire world is out to get me is dumb. I know that playing the sympathy card isn't worth it. I know that I don't have any potential, but then I do have to do something with my life, don't I?? I know that constantly feeling like dying is a bad idea. I know that lashing out is bad. I know that pretending is not constructive.

I know all this.

I just wish I knew how I'm supposed to feel any better, because I'm feeling awfully lousy right now.

[Lexicon78]

(((((canders)))))

Hang in there. You are a really great person even when you don't think so. I know I struggle with that, too.

[Rhapsody]

All change takes time.... even the GOOD kind - Hang in there! (and) NEVER give up..... for it is when you give up that you loose.

I have spent the last 5 years of my life fighting the overwhelming feeling & thought of wanting to DIE..... I had to fight the evil that tried to take ME - the inner thoughts that involved weekly suicidal tendencies.

I am glad that I did not stop the fight, for I am now almost 95% FREE of DEATH..... and WHY? - because I NEVER gave up!


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[(JD)]

(((canders)))) I disagree that you "know" all these things, as they aren't necessarily accurate. I bumped up the cognitive distortions that are most common...in the psychotherapy forum.

I don't say this to make you feel worse, but to help you realize that even though you feel this way, it isn't necessarily so!

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I'm a lousy person.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Why is this true? I don't agree, and others here don't either.</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that in order to make other people happy, I have to be happy.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Again, I disagree. Other people's happiness is not your responsibility. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that in order to do something "constructive" with my life I have to get over all these hurdles.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> People do constructive activities all the time, without having their total lives together.
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that being this miserable for this long is bad.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> How is this "bad?" I'm sure you don't like being this way, but it is what it is, as is: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that constantly feeling like the worst person in the world isn't right. I know that feeling like the entire world is out to get me is dumb.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> Using such words like worst, dumb, are judgment terms, not necessarily correct. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that playing the sympathy card isn't worth it.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I'm sorry that you feel you are caught in a game, and that you feel that you have to rely upon other people's sympathy. </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that I don't have any potential

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> What experts have told you this, and by what means did they measure it?</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
but then I do have to do something with my life, don't I??

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> You are doing something with your life right now. You are living it. Yes, you want something different, but what you are learning is probably good, don't you think? </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I know that constantly feeling like dying is a bad idea.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> You state this like it is a pure choice, something you came up with "an idea" while you were bored one night.

Do you see what I'm countering here? Your black and white world is what needs to be worked on, imo. Learning to counter your thinking will help you feel better, and see that life doesn't require finding fault or blame (or taking such blame.)

You are worth plenty! No one, not even you, imo, has the "right" to say that you aren't worthy. Yes, you want change. That's a good realization! Depression tells us lies, even once you learn what those lies are it will still take work to counter them and tell yourself the truth. I hope you are able to feel some better sooner rather than later.

I hope I haven't upset you. I've been through this aspect of distortive thinking myself (and yes, have to work to keep on track.) Welcome to the journey! TC

[Hopefull]

I agree with the previous post. I like to find evidence that disagrees with my negative/distorted thinking. I find that coming up with a more powerful , positive and more realistic belief helps me to get rid of my negative thinking. As for potential, I can't see my potential when my mood is off. I highly doubt that your view of your potential is accurate when you are depressed either. If you are like me, you have probably learned this thinking in childhood. Of course, I could be wrong on this.