I am getting worse.

I think my depression is getting worse and worse. Really I'm just waiting for someone to pull me out of my rut, give me a job, etc. But even then I have no energy to do anything but be a robot for the rest of my life.

I am filled with regret and indecision at the same time, meaning I recognize missed opportunities in the past but i have no motivation or momentum going to try and make up for them. And that just makes me more depressed.

I am trapped in an employment agency that I don't want to be in. It's an agency for disabled types, my disability being my mental problems, and I can't change agencies for some reason. Feeling trapped and unable to make decisions is frustrating, and it means more depression.

More later.

Good Morning ~

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. You are not alone in these feelings.

Exactly.

Who's running your employment agency? (No need to answer.)

Dito dito dito. My disability is also my mental problems but I can't find anyone who knows anything about my mental problems, which consist of a career burn-out and a family history of unstable jobs (with the exception of my father). I feel I am doomed to be unstable and unreliable, and my career failure was the nail in the coffin. Any information on the 2 culprits would be much appreciated. Interesting that there is a company specializing in employing those with mental disabilities. I hope I haven't made you feel worse by anything I've just said.

That feeling of being trapped and unable to move and just not having the energy. I can relate. Hope today is a little better. Has medication helped in any way?
-E.

Also I live with someone who wakes me up early in the morning with his general noisiness. I have to ask him to keep it down in the mornings, but i'm so mad that he hasn't thought of it himself. He literally makes no attempt at the moment.

I don't want to give the name of the agency if that's what you're asking.

I was on meds and they helped a bit, now i am off them and I have been depressed for the last 3 months.

I feel i should go to my employment agency and smash things so they 'fire' me. Thoughts on what i could do to get thrown out?

Oh, no. I'm concerned about your feelings of being trapped with this agency. I would be very uncomfortable with people or a bureaucracy unresponsive to or uncaring of the clients. They are supposed to be working for you.

It irks me that organizations created to help people with depression or other illnesses sometimes exploit the mental, physical fatigue of those same people to avoid doing what they're designed to do. (I don't know if that's the case with your agency.)

Exactly my thoughts.

I doubt it is, they just don't know my history well enough to know that being trapped like this causes me to harm myself and others.

If what you are doing is not working, surely you must change it to progress. Focus on what you can do.

I thought i got accepted for a job today. Then i turned up to work and it turns out i was just trialling for the job against a few other people. So depressed.

I literally can't function normally in a job or find a new one right now. I'm gonna end up homeless. No one is gonna help me. If you have someone who is, stick with it until you can get on your feet. Just hang in there.