Possible Trigger.

Is wishing you could go to sleep and never wake up classified as a "suicidal thought"? I have no intention of actually killing myself but I would be so relieved if I just randomly dropped dead; it would be such a relief. The only reason I don't want to kill myself is because of friends/family. If I didn't have them nothing would stop me. I am just living my life for other people and that is a miserable way to be. I can't do it anymore.

Can someone please respond to this? I know a lot of people are probably asleep but I also know there are still some that are online.

Depression is bad..it takes away the will to do anything let alone live. Have you contacted your pdoc to see if you can get your meds increased? Sometimes its just about that, and getting you out of this bad depression. When you feel better you will thing differently.
I have been there, and so glad I did not do anything as the situation did change over time. I always like the quote "Don't give up before the miracle happens" It makes me realize that things do change if I allow it and can hold on!!!

I hope you feel better. Its not the world, or your environment, its how right now you perceive it.. Please hang in there. Its gonna change..really!!!

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so depressed. i used to pray for being taken but i'm so glad there was a positive solution when i got help. do you have a treatment team in place to help u irl?
my therapist once told me i needed to keep a part of me for myself or there'd be nothing left for ME. perhaps that thought will help you too.

Hello, Retro_Chic!
I think my own pdoc would not describe that as a suicidal thought in itself. I'm fairly sure he would distinguish between wishing to die and fantasizing about actually killing oneself. The latter would qualify as "suicidal ideation," or so I remember him telling me. More serious than that would be fantasizing about how to kill oneself -- that's a definite red flag.

Regardless of how serious you feel your thoughts are, it's not wrong or unwarranted to seek help through a crisis line or elsewhere.

I too struggle with depression so I know how you feel. If you need to talk to someone I'm here as I have suffered since I was around 15 years old. Take care

(((retro chic)))
These thoughts creep into my head also. My T says that it is not necessarily SI's. He says for me they are more along the lines of exhaustion. These thoughts occur with me when I really am in the deepest levels and feeling guilty that my problems affect others. However I am sure that without my T it could have gotten to that point very quickly.
Hugz
Nams

i feel exactly the same, my reason not to do it is also family and friends. im really scared of dying but i think it would be really easy if i don't wake up... plus i don't have enough courage to do it. a friend of mine tried it once and regretted it incredibly, threw up the meds she took. she's really happy now. she says to me "it will all work out, i know they say it gets better but it really does get better".
i don't think it is a suicidal though but you could ask for counsel to your therapist

Thanks everyone for the support! I have in the past gone through all the possible methods in my mind and came to the conclusion they are all terrible options and I could never go through with any of them. But still... a part of me wishes I could.

I understand this. I wouldn't label it as SI. When I try to think back, I remember wishing this when I was as young as 10, and I only started having very suicidal thoughts 2 or 3 years later.

I would bring it up to your doctor and discuss it, but I wouldn't worry much about it. I think more than anything, hoping you'll die in your sleep is a bit of a 'coping' method for us depressives.