[mamacub]

Ok my stomach hurts, I'm stressed and depressed. I'm 5 weeks pregnant and my bf and I got into a huge fight which he blamed on me but I didn't start the fight. I asked him a simple question which led to more questions and he got mad.

He treats his daughter generally good but she's not mine and there were a couple cases where I don't want that for our baby. He has been very vague about my pregnancy and everything I do isn't good enough for him. It's like either or, he could always do it himself so how am I needed. I feel like I'm just his sex toy, otherise, his time with me is minimal and he blames it on work. One time he poured a pot of cold water on his daughter to calm her down because she threw a fit. Another time he stole from a Wal-Mart and was talking about it in front of his daughter and she said "oooh daddy you stole" and SHE got in trouble. Another time he was pouring hydrogen peroxide on her open wound and she was crying real loud and he told her to calm down it doesn't hurt then started laughing. She's only 6 years old. Neither of these things I agree with and I don't want to happen to our baby. I just want to go back home because I live in the midwest and have not a lot of friends here and no family, all my family is back east. I just feel sad and not good enough and he's bringing my confidence way down because he hates to be rong even though he's contradicted himself a lot. He gave me hell for not wanting only his last name on the baby but both our last names on the baby because we're not married yet and even threatend he wouldn't marry me because I was "acting that way". He's a good guy and a good dad but there are just some things I can't stand about him. It's his bed, his fridge, his computer (which I'm using now because he didn't even get mine fixed.)

I just feel stressed and I know back east I'll have the legal right as the mom to choose my baby's first, last and middle names and my family is very supportive there. But I want to stay here because I like the midwest and I want the dad to be in my baby's life. I just feel like staying here, I'm unappreciated outside of sex and spending time with his daughter. It's like as if that's all I'm ever good for because apparently I don't clean enough or cook enough.

I'm thinking of getting on depression meds, at least I'll be numb to everything, including him. He's got his life together so it doesn't seem to matter what I do because he could always do it better and by himself. I don't know what to do. Twice before I almost went back east but didn't. I hate the way my life is going and I just want to do what's best for me and baby. :'( If I wasn't pregnant, I'd have a bottle of vodka in my left hand right now I swear.

[turquoisesea]

hey there. I'm not sure this is what you want to hear, but to me reading your post I'd say you should get away from him and head back East to your family. It doesn't sound to me like he's treating you like family, and respecting you as an individual and person let alone a girlfriend.

He's already threatening you with words (well if you're like that I won't marry you!) to get what he wants, and he's always looking down on you.

I definitely understand you wanting the Dad in the baby's life. But it shouldn't come at the cost of your wellbeing. He could still visit this child and maybe if you guys can work things out from a distance, as you gain some self esteem and perspective on the situation, you can work out a better working relationship. I also think from what you've said about his parenting I wouldn't want my child if I had one around that...

I'm so sorry you're going through this

[Trippin2.0]

If he was my daughter's dad, I'd RUN. I know you want him in your unborn baby's life, but I don't understand why...
You say he treats you like a sex toy, he disrespects you, do you want your child growing up witnessing this?

You're pregnant, and you should really be looking after yourself and your unborn baby.
I can't tell you what to do, but seriously, I'd go home and allow him supervised visits, coz my kid is N0T going to be doused with water or burned with peroxide...

[LookingforCalm]

Then you need to get out now. While you can. This guy is no good for you, and if you think things will change - I'm sorry - they won't!

I hope for your sake and that of your child that you will go home to a supportive bunch of people who will love and stand by you.

[dailyhealing]

I agree with everyone above. This sounds like a very unsafe place, for sure emotionally and possibly physically as well, for you to be. I would strongly recommend you escape this situation, especially since you have somewhere to go. I'm glad you posted on here!

[dazeofdolphins]

Thank you for your post. To me, it reminded me of someone who knows what the right answer is and who knows what to do but is also very scared and worried about how he might respond your decision. I generally have a good take on others but I try not to give direct advice unless I feel confident that what I have to offer may change another's life forever. So, here goes - I am breaking the rules. The relationship is toxic. Because of the issues that you both bring to the table, the relationship cannot work. Get out now but wait to tell him until you are back with your family. Then, be careful with meds,,esPecially during your first trimester - they can cause birth defects.

I know you know what the best decision is but maybe you need others to confirm it. Well, here we are saying "run like the wind". Good luck and keep us posted

All my bests-
Daze