I hate this pain

I have been battling depression for 2 years and now it has caused me to lose my husband. We've been together for 17 years. He's a wonderful man. I couldn't pull myself out of it so he kicked me out. Its been year. I thought things would work out and we'd be together again. Instead, he started dating and is now in love with someone else. He's the only man I have ever had in my life and I still can't imagine it without him. He thinks I'm going crazy because I kept trying to get him back. Our son doesn't even like to be around me because all I do is cry. I don't eat or sleep unless I take a sleep aid. I have a huge family but feel incredibly lonely. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to live anymore but I could never leave my son like that. All I hear from people is that it will get better, that I just need time. Time seems to stand still. I feel like this is never going to end.

i get it. it shouldn't take so much energy to not feel awful. but each time you face this....you get stronger and better at beating it. lean on those around you who can be strong for you. I don't know if you are close with family or friends but whoever you are close with...let them in...whole heartedly. ....they are right, it will get better...so just hold on....and time will take care of the rest.
Goodluck

((((asdg7695))))

It is incredibly painful. You have shared a significant time in your life with your ex. It's very hard to accept that he's no longer there to lean back upon. That takes a while! My ex-hub and I have been divorced for 2 years, I can relate to what you're talking about to an extent.

Thankfully, you have the devotion to your son to hold onto. Sometimes, that's what we need to hold onto to keep us away from SI. Personally, making that agreement within myself made the ideas less intense and less tempting. It is a solid agreement that I just can't do it. Not an option!

Finding other interests has helped me a bit. For me, walking often helps me get into a better state of mind. So, I walk for 10 miles or so out in the country once or twice a week. On a bike path, with my iPod, looking at the trees, sky, birds flying...it's a big stress relief. Another tip is to help others. Volunteering to help homeless people, elderly and alone, needy animals, etc. are all options to get you out of your mind for a little while. There are lots of places that are happy to take volunteers ~ and that really does bring some sense of worth to me. Schools and YMCA's, Boys and Girls Clubs, get you thinking about something else.

Hope that you can find a few more ideas to help you get through the days less painfully and in a healthy way. Gentle hugs!