****ing hurting

but what does it matter? folks can pretend to care so they get care back but they don't really care ... much a reflection of real life ... everyone loves you so long as you laugh ... dare say i f-ed up or hurting ... bye! w/e

Hello, roz g. What you say may be true about most people a lot of the time, but it isn't necessarily true about everyone all of the time. Those who come here and take the time to read and respond to posts even though they may be hurting and in need of support themselves or could be using their time and energy pursuing their own self-gratifications really do care - at least to the degree that they are able to do so at any given moment.

Of course, I know that you already know this because I see your name here and there providing comfort, consolation, support, and encouragement to others who are hurting despite your own pain.

Hope you are feeling better soon. lynn09

hi lynn09 ... this wasn't directed at anyone here, just my personal life, a real bad day, bad week, bad month ... and just feeling hurt all around by some friends here in my real life and friends who've moved on and keep in touch online who come running to me at every turn for help but never care if i need help. i sincerely hope you and others here didn't take this post personally?

and as for the comfort or support i give here ... it never feels enough as i'm not a natural advice giver and frequently feel inadequate for that ... i'm mostly just a hug-giver.

but thanx for reminding me not to generalize, i do that sometimes when i'm hurting a lot and need reminded not to, so thanx.

peace, love, hugs,
roz
xox

I think I understand what you're saying Roz. I don't think everyone expects something in return but they may need it... maybe immediately or maybe later. That doesn't mean that they don't truly care. True compassion can't be bartered or traded.

George, I don't understand ... true compassion bartered or traded?

(((Roz))) i give you an A+ for feeling your feelings. It' s easy to feel like people don' t care, but a lot of them actually genuinely do.

Btw, what happened?

it can feel like people pretend to care
but they just want to hurt us
(nobody on pc)

So true - lynn09 though majority of the human race dont care.

Please don't misunderstand, roz - I didn't think you were directing your comments towards anyone here on PC and I hope I didn't come across as "scolding" you - just wanted to remind you of what you already know. Most of us have had experiences like you have described with people in our real lives - most of us have experienced the very same feelings you expressed, and have had to learn how to temper those excruciatingly painful feelings about others and ourselves by shifting our perspective.

As for the quality/quantity of the comfort and support you and others give here - I don't think giving hugs is any less important than giving advice. We all have different gifts - different abilities - different levels of knowledge and experience - what matters is our willingness to share whatever abilities and gifts we possess with others - and I think the quality of your willingness is top notch.

Even being able to post honestly about the negative feelings you are experiencing about yourself, others, life in general, is an ability not everyone posesses. Look at the number of views in the statistics columns - a post may only receive a few responses, but there are many, many more people reading them. Someone else may see in your words the very same thoughts and feelings that they are experiencing but are not able to open up and express or articulate themselves. In this way, you are giving them a voice - and even giving others reading your words the opportunity to develop understanding, empathy, and compassion for their fellow humans that they will carry with them into their daily lives - knowledge that might even effect a positive change in how they perceive and treat their fellow humans IRL - and even themselves.

Everything we say and do (even just giving sweet, caring, compassionate hugs) are pebbles tossed in the pond, sending out ripples that touch the lives of others that we will never know, changing the world in ways we cannot imagine. Who knows? Perhaps those who don't care or don't know how to care will learn how. lynn09

Carrie_Ann

thanx to everyone for your support, it does mean a lot, i know i can be a pain and need to learn to control my emotions better. love and hugs to you all.