I want to be someone else. Frankly, I feel like I have accomplished nothing in life, so I don't matter. All the 'accomplishments' I have are these cliché, nonsense accomplishments, like how I take amateurish photos, am an amateur chess player, that haven't yet committed suicide despite all the hell I've been through, and that I 'try,' as if any of these matter.

I feel I need some spectacular accomplishment because I need to counteract all the bad and wrong in me, like if I have lots of excellent accomplishments, such as degrees, money, awards, etc., than it will make me less bad. It's a simple thought process…

Money/Degrees/Awards = Good; Me = Bad/Failure/Wrong/Rejection; Money/Degrees/Awards + Me = Good Me.

I don't know how to feel better about who I am. An assignment I have is to write 5 good things each day – will attempt that.

Other times I feel like I would really like it if someone hugged or held me and told me that I am okay the way I am. It's been about 3 years since someone hugged me. All day I am alone in my office; it is hard.

I'm such a mess…

[burdsinflite]

I gave you a hug . But seriously, try not to judge yourself based on your accomplishments. Life isn't just about that. I'm sure you've done some things in your life you can be proud of, I would try to focus on those.

[Rohag]

Hello, Mr. Venomous!

I'm curious, and please feel free to ignore the question: You've summed up "accomplishments" as "Money/Degrees/Awards." What has influenced you to view these three as the accomplishments you value?

Just my view, but you've grabbed my attention and secured my esteem by being an interesting person.

You are okay the way you are buddy In fact I'm very impressed. Don't let it go to your head and don't rest on your laurels though...you're still very young and have plenty of time for many new accomplishments
BTW that sounds like a tough assignment. I'm not sure I could come up with five good things about myself...period

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello, Mr. Venomous!

I'm curious, and please feel free to ignore the question: You've summed up "accomplishments" as "Money/Degrees/Awards." What has influenced you to view these three as the accomplishments you value?

Just my view, but you've grabbed my attention and secured my esteem by being an interesting person.

Simple, really – those are what others respect and value, hence will make me valuable. Whether or not I do 'my best' means nothing. What matters is succeeding. People respect and value titles, awards, degrees, money, and other such things, and I will be valuable with them.

[Sanada]

Value is what you see in the mirror when you groom...

Do you see a 'good person' @ heart, or something else. I guess being happy with being a 'good person' is enough for me.
Degrees, awards, etc - lol I left that to others in family.

Take Good Care.

[LadyShadow]

Sometimes I feel the same way. I never finished anything in my life until recently. But it was a six month business program not college. See even though I accomplished something that I was never able to do before, I still put a negative spin on it. Typical!

Don't feel you're alone though

I've seen some of your posts, and you definitely are an interesting person who has a lot to offer, so don't sell yourself short.

Good luck and keep your head up!