[new widow]

I feel so helpless and alone. My husband died almost 2 weeks ago. He was all I had. I've lost people before - by the time I was 26 I had lost both parents, all grandparents and several aunts and uncles. We went through infertility treatments and never were able to have kids. The doctor says I possibly had several early miscarriages. It was just the two of us and that was OK. Now it's just me. I don't want to go on without him. It hurts too much. Everyone keeps telling me I'm strong and I can get through this but I'm not and I don't want to get through this - I just want to be with him. He was my world and without him nothing matters.

[eskielover]

It's difficult when your whole life is wrapped around only one person & everything that you value is all about them. I know you might not feel like it right now, but later on, it will be good for you to find things that do interest you in your life....like volunteering (know hospitals will have triggers, but they need volunteers), or animal shelter. If you like reading libraries usually have monthly book clubs. My mother got involved in the braille printing that her church did. One thing to be ware of....something my mother did & something another friend I have now who lost her husband quite a few years ago.....was go shopping to ease the pain. The debt that can happen can really cause depression if not careful. I know when I was depressed in my marriage, shopping was something that made my depression feel MOMENTARILY better.

Know that starting over in life is difficult....but you can be so very thankful that you did have a wonderful husband & special memories....something that you will never loose or forget. Take life one day at a time & see what it available for you that day...what you feel a twinge of interest in.

Slowly you will put together a new way of living for yourself....one that is YOU.....& it's OK.

[carrie_ann]

((((((((new widow))))))))

[Leed]

Oh my dear I can SO relate. I've been where you are and I wanted to die too. My dear husband died 12 days before our first anniversary. I wanted to die too -- I didn't want to live at ALL. How could I go on without him??? He was my life!!!

It was a 2nd marriage for both of us. WE had both been in long-term unhappy marriages the first time. We went together for a long time before we got married -- we wanted to be sure this time. In 2000 we finally got married on March 17th, St. Patrick's Day. In August of that year, we found out he had terminal cancer. The doctor said he might have 6mos to a year. I nursed him the whole time. The following March 5th of 2001, he died at home. I remember that day as tho it was this morning.

Please contact a Grief Counselor -- please! They will help you with the grieving process. Very often, we need help grieving. I know I did. I was SO grief stricken that I needed assistance with it. I needed someone to listen to me, to console me -- I didn't need people telling me that "you"ll get over it" or "time will heal" or "you'll forget him" or other such nonsense. I just needed someone to LISTEN and try to UNDERSTAND.

You can calll Hospice and they have GREAT Grief Counselors -- it doesn't matter if you've used their services or not. They'll be happy to talk to you. There MIGHT be a small fee -- I'm not sure. But it's well worth it. You won't be sorry. They also kept in contact with me for a full year after my husband died to make sure I was okay.

If you don't want to talk to them, please call a counselor/therapist. You do need someone to talk to, my friend. Friends/family just don't "get it." They're too close to the situation and can't see clearly.

If you want to talk, you can private message me anytime. I wish you the very best dearheart. I know what you're going thru. God bless and PLEASE take care of yourself. I understand. Hugs, Lee