[ThinkingAboutClouds]

It seems like everytime the subject of my mental health comes up, it just turns into a stressful argument. I don't understand how someone who is supposed to be there for me never really seems like they want to be there and come through for me completly.

The entire situation pretty much starts out the same, with the same middle and end. I am trying to vent a little with my mom. Then when I say something like, "I feel like I'm empty" or "I feel tried and worn out." she thinks its okay to respond with "Are you depressed? What do you have to be depressed about? No one's ever done anything to you..."

... and that's when I just shut her out completely. Because I don't have a valid response. I know that people, a lot of people, have had it worse than me. And maybe the things that trigger me are small and pathetic, but dose that mean I don't have the right to feel anything? She always tells me I need to get a backbone and toughen up. That I don't have time to be this way, and stop making excuses.

Truthfully she dosen't know to much about my life. I have always made sure that she dosen't. So maybe that's my fault too, for not being honest from the start. I don't like how this feels. Knowing that everything wrong with me is probably my own fault. I should probably talk to a professional but its hard when your own mom dosen't seem to want to give you the opportunity to.

She thinks it goes away on its own, and it just comes back "once in a blue moon." but its really just me supressing everything for as long as I possibly can, till I crack. She makes me feel insane.

I'm really just venting though, and I want to vent more but these thoughts are giving me a bad headache. So I'll just stop now.

[Mommilady]

I'm sorry your mom isn't more supportive or understanding. I've gotten similar reactions from some family members when trying to talk about my own troubles. My personal opinion is that this type of response comes from fear, like they are afraid I might be trying to blame them for my troubles so they get defensive when I try to talk about it. Or maybe they feel guilty, as if there was something they could have done but didn't.

Otherwise, why would your mother dismiss your feelings? But again, this is just what I've observed in my own life.

[Mike_J]

I think it's part of the "mom" thing to want to fix you, but what so many people don't understand we are not like broken cars. We don't need "fixed" we need some compassion a bit of understanding. And we are individuals there isn't a "one size fit's all" course of action that will help, your triggers are huge to you, and that is all that counts.

It's so easy to look at someone else and wonder why they don't "just get over it", "move on", "cowboy up" if it was that easy we would have done it already, why can't people understand that?

[day2day]

I can relate with all three of you. My mother and other family members and even friends, or co-workers. Have said to me to "You have nothing to be so depressed over" Ok fine, then why do I feel like this? But I also went to AA when others thought I didn't have a drinking problem too. So it depends on you. If you are depressed and you know it. Then you, like me, need a therapist to sort through the stuff and get to the triggers. To help us work through the issues, and have a way of dealing with the obstacles in life. Families need to be more compassionate and loving during this time. Find a therapist that will listen to you, and keep venting, that is what we are here for.