Is it possible to take AD for a lifetime?

Hi all, I was recently prescribed Cipralex (Lexapro) and spent few days reading all the posts in the med section. I am afraid to take it, not as much of the side effects as of the thought how it`s going to affect me in 20 years from now.
I am 37 years old and was diagnosed with depression 12 years ago. I took Elavil(TCA) and medazepam (a benzo) daily for over 8 years. During the 7th year they totally popped off leaving me with only side effects so I begun weaning myself off of them, it took me about a year and am totally med free for over 1 year and a half now. I had therapy (CBT) which helped with anxiety and tried for a short time SJW and SAME which made things worst derealization wise.
Since I stopped taking any AD it`s been extremely hard, actually the worst period of my life. The depression came back (strange enough no anxiety though) full force and it`s incapacitating me. My biggest problem is my memory, attention span and dream like sensations (derealization). Don`t even know if that`s the effect of depression or the 8 years on medication. Now I have days when I feel almost normal, it happens twice a month or less, rest of the time I can`t work and everything I do requires a huge effort because my mind is almost blank. I am an architect; I used to be creative, understand volumes of space and am reduced now to sometimes count by fingers.
I know now that I will probably need some kind of treatment all my life and am scared of what will happen in time to come.
Does anybody know what the repercussions are after a lifetime of AD? Is it even an option? Do you know anybody who took AD for 20-30-40 years?
Thank you for bearing with me and please excuse my English.
Zena

Hi and welcome to PC. Sometimes a person's body doesn't make the right amount of "happiness" chemical... and if an AD gives them a life, why would it be any different than a diabetic taking a medicine for life?

I hope you will begin taking your med soon, or call your doctor and discuss why you haven't begun it. Obviously you felt you needed it. Why not go ahead and begin to feel better, and enjoy your work?

Again, welcome.

Welcome to PC Zena. No need to apologize for your English. It's great! I don't know where you're from but your post reads as if you were a native speaker of English.
As for the ADs I am no expert but my understanding is that some people need to take them for the rest of their lives, particularly if they experience recurring depression. A doctor explained it to me by saying that the risks of recuring depression (the debilitation, suicidal thoughts and actions etc) far outweigh the risks of medication taken to keep depression at bay. That makes sense to me.
My brother-in-law has taken ADs for over fifteen years. He still experiences some depression but nothing like what he used to have (according to my husband). It's just a relatively small dose that is increased occasionally when things get bad. He seems to be doing really well.
So I guess it's a matter of weighing up the odds.
I don't know about the way you're feeling most of the time. Maybe you should speak with your doctor about the meds you're taking. Are they the right ones? The right dose? On the other hand I think our skills can deteriorate over time. I started doing puzzles again recently because I just don't feel as "sharp" as I used to. Sometimes when we're not using skills they kind of seem to disappear.
BTW I love architecture. You have a very interesting career. Best of luck to you.