[Aardwolf]

I feel like I'm stuck somewhere in my mind, for what has seemed like an eternity. Its crept up on me, slowly and surely. Eating away. Destroying everything I would call "me". Causing pieces of my life to fall away from around me.
Friends, family, support.. Its all gone now. I have no-one left.
I feel like i'm walking. If I dream i have one dream. I dream that i'm trapped in a desert. I just walk, walk, and walk. The sands in my mind stretch on and on for eternity. There is no end. There is no beginning. The sun is burning down constantly, relentlessly.
For so long I have walked, and not felt my feet hit the ground. For so long I have been in a storm, and not heard the thunder, or seen the lightning. I don't feel hungry, thirsty. I don't care.
Nothing matters to me now because I have nothing to care about. There is no-one. No one close, no one far.
I feel like i am drowning, but at the same time not feeling any pain.
What is this feeling that has taken over me. Numbness I would usually call it, but this time I am not sure what it is. It feels worse than numb. This feels more like empty. There is nothing to be made numb anymore. No soul, no mind. I feel lifeless and dead.
You could sit a Therapist, Councillor, Psych in front of me, and I would not even feel hopeful. I wouldn't know what to feel except nothing and a vast emptiness. I don't feel fear anymore, not happiness, sad, love, hate, anger, numb.. Emotions. They're gone and lost.
I would love to describe myself as lost.. it usually implies that it is retrievable eventually.. I don't even know what to look for anymore.

[pandarama123456789]

I know the feeling well, and it can truley eat you alive. A couple years ago for a long time I just felt nothing. No feelings, no hope. I had no idea who I was anymore, I just turned into nothingness and turned inward, away into my dark mind. It's devestating, and I am so sorry you feel this way. It took me years to find some kind of light, some hope, and it's still hard, the feeling just creeps up on you when you least expect it.
I was hesitant about therapy at first, I didn't think anyone could ever help me, but I gave it a chance and it did help bring something back into my life, a little sliver of hope that made me tell myself things WILL get better. And it will for you too. Have you tried talking to someone, a therapist or counsler or anyone? Have you tried meditation?
I'm sorry I don't really know what to say, I'm still struggling with theses feelings myself.. I pray you feel relief soon

[Idiot17]

Feel the same way. All the time. No hope

[Aardwolf]

gave it a chance and it did help bring something back into my life, a little sliver of hope that made me tell myself things WILL get better. And it will for you too.

When you speak of therapy. How did you approach the subject ? What did you talk about ? Obviously I don't want to send you sliding back by asking any of this so don't feel you have to answer.
Yes, I did try meditation for a while. And although it was easy for me to get a blank mind, I did not seem to be able to go anywhere else with it.

[pandarama123456789]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

When you speak of therapy. How did you approach the subject ? What did you talk about ? Obviously I don't want to send you sliding back by asking any of this so don't feel you have to answer.
Yes, I did try meditation for a while. And although it was easy for me to get a blank mind, I did not seem to be able to go anywhere else with it.

Well, I just talked to her about how I was feeling, or rather not feeing anything, and she started asking questions about me and my life, like family life, friendships etc. At first I wasn't really into it, but the more I talked to her the more I wanted to say and explain and it made me think. I've been on antidepressants a while now and they've helped me come a long way as well. I guess it's given me some perspective and its's a wonderfull thing to have, even if I loose it sometimes, I'm not nearly as bad as I used to be. She also gave me a push to try volunteering, and I'm an animal lover so I volunteered at a couple animal shelters and that helped me immensley. It gave me some fufillment to care for animals and it made me feel less alone. Maybe you could try something like that if therapy isnt your thing, it could maybe bring some positive feeling into your life, I know it did for me.