[krissy702001]

I have a best friend who has been there for me. She took me to the hospital, she was supportive to me while I there, and took me back home after 9 days. I have no close family or other friends to talk to. I have depression and anxiety. I am on meds and in therapy. I thought she understood the nature of the disease as she told me she studied it while I was in the hospital. We talk almost every day. She asked me how I felt today. I told her the crying spells were coming back for the past 2 days. She told me that everyone gets sad and that is a normal part of life. Then she told me I did not have enough faith in God. Then she gave me a "pep talk" about all I needed to do was change my negative thoughts, and I would not feel so bad. I felt demeaned, and my feelings are hurt. And I am angry with myself that I trusted her and let myself be open with her since people will always let you down.

I am working on changes. I went back to work last week since leaving the hospital. I left my apt both Sat and Sun (which I have a strong tendency to stay home) and got out. I am working on this. The meds seem to be helping also. I felt like she was telling me the depression is all my fault, and I just need to make changes. I am making changes, but maybe not up to her pace.

Thanks for listening,
Krissy

[clouds_and_sun]

Originally Posted by krissy702001

I have a best friend who has been there for me. She took me to the hospital, she was supportive to me while I there, and took me back home after 9 days. I have no close family or other friends to talk to. I have depression and anxiety. I am on meds and in therapy. I thought she understood the nature of the disease as she told me she studied it while I was in the hospital. We talk almost every day. She asked me how I felt today. I told her the crying spells were coming back for the past 2 days. She told me that everyone gets sad and that is a normal part of life. Then she told me I did not have enough faith in God. Then she gave me a "pep talk" about all I needed to do was change my negative thoughts, and I would not feel so bad. I felt demeaned, and my feelings are hurt. And I am angry with myself that I trusted her and let myself be open with her since people will always let you down.

I am working on changes. I went back to work last week since leaving the hospital. I left my apt both Sat and Sun (which I have a strong tendency to stay home) and got out. I am working on this. The meds seem to be helping also. I felt like she was telling me the depression is all my fault, and I just need to make changes. I am making changes, but maybe not up to her pace.

Thanks for listening,
Krissy

KrissyI am so sorry that your "best friend" did this to you especially seeing after you have no close family or other friends to talk to. I don't have any blood family and I have no other friends but my only friend and a couple of online friends, I know your pain of feeling depressed and all. Your best friend should be there for you no matter what. I hope she does come and be there for you please keep us all updated about this again to you Krissy

[CandleGlow]

Hi, just sending hugs
This is why depression is so isolating, people just can't cope with it. Don't know what to say - and usually end up saying something hurtful.
I have this 'non understanding', with friends, and family!
Knowing that your not alone, and others are feeling the same, doesn't help me much either. Warm wishes to you....

[Leed]

Sweetie, don't be so hard on her. She just doesn't understand. I hope she never does actually cause that would mean that SHE was depressed.

I know that people say demeaniing things, but they're just trying to help. They don't realize that the things they're saying are hurtful. This depression is something MORE than just "getting out" and just "doing things" etc. It hits when we least expect it, and many times it comes and it never leaves. I've been depressed siince I was a small child and i've never had a reprieve. It's very tiring -- in fact it's exhausting! lol

So give her a break. She was just trying to help. She didn't mean to hurt you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by krissy702001

I have a best friend who has been there for me. She took me to the hospital, she was supportive to me while I there, and took me back home after 9 days. I have no close family or other friends to talk to. I have depression and anxiety. I am on meds and in therapy. I thought she understood the nature of the disease as she told me she studied it while I was in the hospital. We talk almost every day. She asked me how I felt today. I told her the crying spells were coming back for the past 2 days. She told me that everyone gets sad and that is a normal part of life. Then she told me I did not have enough faith in God. Then she gave me a "pep talk" about all I needed to do was change my negative thoughts, and I would not feel so bad. I felt demeaned, and my feelings are hurt. And I am angry with myself that I trusted her and let myself be open with her since people will always let you down.

I am working on changes. I went back to work last week since leaving the hospital. I left my apt both Sat and Sun (which I have a strong tendency to stay home) and got out. I am working on this. The meds seem to be helping also. I felt like she was telling me the depression is all my fault, and I just need to make changes. I am making changes, but maybe not up to her pace.

Thanks for listening,
Krissy

I am sorry that happened to you.I've had several people tell me the same things. I've had people tell my that I wasn't right with God, that I didn't give enough money to the church, etc., that "everyone has bad days," and all that. It's frustrating, I know.

[tigerlily84]

I agree with Leed. My dad told me the same thing when I told him that I was diagnosed with depression. And I do love him. He meant well. But realize also that people that have never felt depressed will never truly understand what you are going through. I think it's wonderful that she's been there for you as an outlet, and took you to the hospital. Imagine what she's going through. She's worried about you, and probably doesn't know how to help. She's only human, but she does care about you. If she didn't care she wouldn't have taken you to the hospital.

Keep making changes at your own pace. Maybe you can talk to her about how you felt when she told you that.

[krissy702001]

I appreciate all of your comments. Thank you so much. I love her very much.

[jelly-bean]

I agree with Leed too. Sometimes it seems like they hand out a sheet of things for people to say to their depressed friends because we all hear the same things. For the most part, I really think they mean well and are trying to help. Just be patient with your friend. It sounds like she is a good friend and many of us don't have that.

[doggiedo]

Aw, so sorry u feel this way Hun. The next time she tries to give you a pep talk, do you think you would feel comfortable telling her that she is a great friend but for now you just need her to support you by listening and giving you a hug every once and a while.

So here is something you might be able to relate to your situation...I watch the tv show Parenthood, which is a really great drama. The mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and her husband was trying to stay positive and telling her she shouldn't be thinking negatively, etc. She finally broke down and said she just has to be able to "feel" sad and be upset. She just wanted him to listen and to be there for her. He was happy she said something because in the long run, that's all he wanted to do, too...was to be there for her, in whatever way she needed him to be.

I hope this helps. Hugs to you!

[hope hubris]

depression is NOT your fault. I am going through a divorce caused by depression and self-medication with alcohol. my soon to be ex wife is firmly convinced that I chose to be this way, when nothing could be farther from the truth. Those that do not suffer from depression can rarely understand it's power and magnitude. we have to help one another. our road is hard enough without letting anyone else judge us. allowing outsiders to give us a hard time is not a good idea. you can make it, just don't let anyone discourage you.

Originally Posted by krissy702001

I have a best friend who has been there for me. She took me to the hospital, she was supportive to me while I there, and took me back home after 9 days. I have no close family or other friends to talk to. I have depression and anxiety. I am on meds and in therapy. I thought she understood the nature of the disease as she told me she studied it while I was in the hospital. We talk almost every day. She asked me how I felt today. I told her the crying spells were coming back for the past 2 days. She told me that everyone gets sad and that is a normal part of life. Then she told me I did not have enough faith in God. Then she gave me a "pep talk" about all I needed to do was change my negative thoughts, and I would not feel so bad. I felt demeaned, and my feelings are hurt. And I am angry with myself that I trusted her and let myself be open with her since people will always let you down.

I am working on changes. I went back to work last week since leaving the hospital. I left my apt both Sat and Sun (which I have a strong tendency to stay home) and got out. I am working on this. The meds seem to be helping also. I felt like she was telling me the depression is all my fault, and I just need to make changes. I am making changes, but maybe not up to her pace.

Thanks for listening,
Krissy

[Missy_H]

I feel your pain. Nothing annoys me more than people who ask "why can't you just be happy?" or "why can't you just stop thinking so negatively?"

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR THAT ADVICE! I NEVER THOUGHT TO JUST BE HAPPY. WELL NOW ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED! BETTER THROW MY MEDS AWAY AND CALL MY PSYCHOLOGIST TO TELL THEM THAT ALL THEIR PATIENTS CAN BE CURED WITH A BIT OF 'HAPPY THINKING'.

Honestly, I'd just explain to her that it's not that simple and that it IS a real illness and that you DON'T want to be like this. Thinking happy thoughts and believing in God isn't going to get rid of the chemical imbalance in your brain.