The pain of depression...

is unbearable sometimes. I'm choked up right now fighting back tears. I just feel like a waste of space. I have done nothing with my life and i have nothing. I don't want to even wake up and face another day. I'm only here to keep other people from having to deal with my death. Thats good for them i guess but sucks for me.

((((Anjel)))) I am sorry you are hurting so much...you have done something very important...you have posted here, reached out, shared your feelings and have helped others by expressing your feelings. You have helped other members here by your kind words, honesty and thoughtfulness. You have helped others not feel so alone.

That is a gift that you gave others. xx

(((Anjelmarie)))

Please don't give up.

Don't give up. I'm sorry that you're hurting. But, you're not a waste of space. You're a special, important person. You have a purpose in life. Things will get better. I promise. The pain may seem unbearable...but the pain and hurt will let up, with time. Just keep trying, stay positive, and never give up. Everything will be okay. I promise.

What does it mean to "do something with your life?" We are all alive now and someday will be dead, and everything about us will be forgotten. There are countless kings and queens throughout history whom no one remembers anymore. Perhaps they all "did something with their lives" according to the standards you hold yourself to, but what did it matter? Would that have made them happy? Does it make them happy now?

I guess I'm just saying that, as much as we want to do something "impressive" with ourselves, and as much as we are told by society that we should get good jobs or work out until we have perfect bodies or make art that will be remembered for hundreds of years, or whatever the hell it is that we lack and hate ourselves for, none of it really matters that much, and having those things doesn't make us happy. Many people who "do something with their lives" by society's standards are actually very unhappy.

We are all alive, just like birds in the forest or horses on the plain. Like any other living thing, our very existence has innate beauty and worth, if even for a passing glimmer of intelligence and a stitch of song that is held in our inner nature.

Breath in and feel the life in you, and see how beautiful you are just for being alive. Look into the stars at night and marvel at the endless universe you are, in a sense, privileged to see. Someday you will die. We all will. Our sufferings and our triumphs will be forgotten and annihilated. The very best our situations afford us is what is right in front of us. The simple joys of being alive and seeing the beautiful world around.

Bless your heart. The pain IS miserable and unbearable at times. I'm so sorry you're struggling so much.

Are you in therapy? CAN you get into therapy? If you can, I would recommend it strongly. Talking to a professional can make all the difference in the world for a person with depression. Getting to the 'root' of the problem is the key, as well as any other issues that may be bothering you.

Also, talk with your medical doctor. He CAN help you -- he can put you on an antidepressant, which will relieve the depression. Just remember that antidepressants take about 6 weeks to begin working, so don't stop taking it before it has a chance to work. And NEVER stop taking an antidepressant abruptly as it causes serious problems. But please talk with your doctor. There's nothing wrong with getting help. And sometimes the meds can be temporary too.

I wish you the very best. Take care and PLEASE let us know how you're doing from time to time as we DO CARE. God bless! Hugs, Lee

Please, don't give up. You are not a waste. There is a purpose for you. And there is a time for every purpose.

Please do not give up. I am glad you are reaching out here.

anjelmarie.....I'm so sorry about your pain. I know this is hard to "get" when the depression ~the demon is at the controls, but please, if you can possibly can, TRY and remember that thoughts such as that you are a "waste of space" are a result of his control, and NOT the truth. He is, as a therapist of mine used to say....a "trickster", and cares about no one. BUT HE IS NOT YOU, no matter how much it seems that way. Believe me, I've been where you are more times than I can count, and I know how hard it is when he takes away your ability to see any perspective, but I do so hope you are able to think about this at some time. No matter what mistakes you may have made in your life, no matter what shortcomings you may have (we all have them), you are a precious spirit who does NOT deserve to feel how you're feeling. Sending a huge hug, only wish I could do more.....