I finally figured it out!!

I finally figured out the source of my pain. I havent felt good because I didnt as if I was good (a good person) Somewhere along the way I forgot that I am good. In any sense no matter what. When I am good everything around me was good. When I was negative everything around me was negative. Life was negative.

Ive always read into things deeply which in my opinion is awsome because I see the world deeply but it would always be too negatively. I would walk into my job thinking to myself o ***** which satanic executive am i making money for today. Werid, deeply depressing stuff like that which could be make the person who never frowns break down. The world itself its a negative place and I got swallowed into it just like anyone else feeling hopeless and pointless. I felt being a cashier at pizza place a student at a school a starter on sports team just made me think I can always be replaced and ya da da.

Recently Ive become a healthier person (i went on a diet lost 10 pounds broke away from negative people, became more self efficent and self aware. And i feel just much better about myself nowadays

And I was biking one day I saw a sign for this dog kennel I had to work at for community service (speeding ticket) and I remembered how gross and smelly that place was. I remember all the sick dogs and cats and even pigions (idk why but yes) I had to take care of. I was in a deep thought process of how bad that placed sucked.

But then I just remembered that when I wasn't in the back picking up dog droppings I was in the front introducing people to their future pets. Then I thought too the people I introduced to the pets prob didnt give 2 sh*ts who I was and in all reality they prob forgot me entirely and can only remember first playing with the dog.

But in the weridest ways possible I changed someones life entirely in just 15 mins and they will never realize it. And I changed there life for the better too. I felt good because I was good I was donating time to a cause that is good. And because I was good everything around me was good.

I know this is all mombo jumbo but to me this is whats offically helped me climb out of the sinkhole I dug for myself. I went back to the same kennel and on top of being a physically active working man while attending JC I am also doing volunteer work at the local dog shelter. I feel like a good person therefore I feel I am good. (This is my quote that I live by now) I might not be able to change the world since im only one man, but I can make the diffrence that CAN change the world.

I don't want to rain on your parade, so please, please ignore me. But...you've successfully convinced yourself to believe something that does not exist. Don't change that. Please. Good and bad do not exist. Only cause and effect. I think very deeply too, like yourself. You are correct in that the world is going to bring you down with negativity. I do see it very hopeless and pointless. Time marches on no matter who is here. Our lives are only the result of a mindless animal instinct known as reproduction.

I don't want to hurt you, but I am just saying what I think. Hell, I don't know what I am trying to say, there really is no point to anything. From my experience I have found that happiness is ignorance. So continue to ignore the "bad" things as you humans would call them.

Dont worry about it I like to debate and I always want to hear other peoples opinion/philospohys. Plus im just happy enough you commented on my post anyways. I see your point and ill respect it. I can see why you think cause and effect but I still beleive in postive and negative entities (good and bad). Morals, prejudices, characteristics, state of mind, and many other things cannot make one perfect cause so it cant make one perfect effect so Ive ignored the "cause and effect" rule. Also I would hope your human too lol.

You know what? YOu change an ANIMALS life, and do you have any idea how GOOD that is? These poor animals could possibly have been "put down" if you hadn't been part of the process of finding them new homes!!! Do you know how AWESOME that is??? Animals deserve good homes too, as they are helpless creatures that God put on this earth, and YOU helped find them homes!!! GOOD FOR YOU!

So that's absolutely positive and a job well done! Kudos to you! HUgs, Lee