[shortandcute]

There are days when i actually LIKE being sick! I can't really explain why but sometimes it's almost comforting.

[regretful]

Really? You can gladly have my depression...Kidding...I would like to find that same comfort. I think being depressed is literally the pits.

[Bark]

I wouldn't say I enjoy it, but I remember considering the alternative one day: being well. Doing everything I want to do and enjoying it, succeeding in life, being able to talk to people without beating myself up about something I said wrong later... and then I started feeling anxious! It's almost like there's a familiarity to this depression, and just feeling good, no strings attached... I can't handle that feeling. When I have my rare good days (which I assume is how 'normal' people feel), it feels so good it's almost overwhelming.

It's a demon all right, but one that's practically become your shadow.

I'm thinking I'd better try and pull myself out before I get too comfortable with this... I can see myself being depressed the rest of my life and I don't like it.

[Dontfeellikeme]

Give anything To Make it stoP and pretend I am ok

[Blue Poppy]

........... there is no enjoyment in depression for me, just endless mind torture.

[Shishkeberry]

I know what you mean. On one hand depression is ****ing awful, but it's also strangely satisfying sometimes. I thought I was the only one that felt that way. Maybe it's comfortable because it's familiar?

[woodwork98]

yeah i mean i kind of know what u mean i mean like u can just hide and be depressed or u actually have to go out and face life and tbh sometimes the depression can be a lot easier than life for me! :/ X

The voices in my head just told me to have fun...

[Hope-Full]

I wouldn't say I enjoy it, but I remember considering the alternative one day: being well. Doing everything I want to do and enjoying it, succeeding in life, being able to talk to people without beating myself up about something I said wrong later... and then I started feeling anxious! It's almost like there's a familiarity to this depression, and just feeling good, no strings attached... I can't handle that feeling. When I have my rare good days (which I assume is how 'normal' people feel), it feels so good it's almost overwhelming.

I can SO relate to this. Was just talking about it today, actually, how I seem to be comfortable in my miserable depression. Reality is that I hate being depressed, but since I've spent more than half my life depressed, it is familiar, and familiar has become routine. It's almost as if when I do have those good days, I don't even fully enjoy them cause I know they won't last.

Working very hard with T these days to try and break this cycle of miserable depression. Painful work, but I'm promised that the "good" life is worth it.

[Big Mama]

I'm the same way. It's what I'm used to. I don't know how to FEEL any other way. At least I know what to expect. When I do have a good day I'm fearful and don't like the feeling of being alone with myself. I have not enjoyed in so long I forget that it is ok to enjoy. If I have misery at least I'm not alone. Well I am, very very alone. I hope you know what I mean. That sounds weird.

Originally Posted by Shishkeberry

I know what you mean. On one hand depression is ****ing awful, but it's also strangely satisfying sometimes. I thought I was the only one that felt that way. Maybe it's comfortable because it's familiar?

i know what you mean
on 1 hand, i really really hate it- all the stigma, the voices, and all the daily torture- but on the other hand, if tomorrow came and i was free from mental illness i wouldn't even know what to do with myself.

been living it so long i've forgotten what it's like to feel normal

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Shishkeberry

I know what you mean. On one hand depression is ****ing awful, but it's also strangely satisfying sometimes. I thought I was the only one that felt that way. Maybe it's comfortable because it's familiar?

yeah, that's pretty much how that is for me...i know in a way its kinda sick...

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

I can SO relate to this. Was just talking about it today, actually, how I seem to be comfortable in my miserable depression. Reality is that I hate being depressed, but since I've spent more than half my life depressed, it is familiar, and familiar has become routine. It's almost as if when I do have those good days, I don't even fully enjoy them cause I know they won't last.

Working very hard with T these days to try and break this cycle of miserable depression. Painful work, but I'm promised that the "good" life is worth it.

i can totally relate

[Binkerbot]

I totally relate. I mean I HATE being the way I am, don't get me wrong, but it's become comfortable...familiar...safe almost. It's all I know. When I picture myself out being social...doing things...it just gives me anxiety because I'm thinking about it with the brain I have now. Depression is despair...it's hard to WANT to get better sometimes...most of the time it's like whatever I'm staying in bed.