[sujunew]

Yes, I know that my depression has been worsening day by day, but today- the tiredness, the total and utter exhaustion, the complete lack of motivation... I got myself into trouble the last time I got this far down- the bed was my 2nd home and I altho it was so difficult I had to make an effort to get up and stay away from the bed. But I did take the dog for a walk. I'm not sure of my reasoning behind that. Ordinarily it is exercise, a great thing for the dog, and a way of getting out of the house for no2 and myself. But at the moment things aren't 'ordinary'. I have stitches in my leg from SI, and I am totally exhausted. I did make it back in 1 piece but am looking towards the bedroom very longingly. Unfortunately the tiredness I am feeling isn't being felt by no2 at the moment tho, so that will have to wait. Not sleeping well doesn't help things either, now I recall the shocker of a night I had last nite. Well, I will read no2 her bks and hope I can convince her it is nap time... :

[patricia72]

irishsj,
You are obviously fighting it... you still took your dog for a walk, in my opinion and experience, because you are fighting to maintain a sense of normality, taking care of no1 &no2 also shows you are a fighter against the symptoms....
wishing you the best of luck and hoping you feel better soon,
Patricia xx

hang on and keep posting. we are here and we care.

PM me at any time. xoxoxo pat

[VAQUERALOCA]

Boy do I know how you feel about that bed being a second home........... I run to the bed after every little thing I do. Of course I have to force myself OUT of the bed to do any little things and then when I get that little thing done I run back to the bed to start trying to force myself to get out of it again. I spend way too much time in the bed watching TV and it is so hard to force myself to do anything. what is that ?? is that depression or sometihng else..... Does anyone else stay in the bed all the time? I hear it's a common symptom of derpession and what is the treatment for it . to stay OUT of the bed...... fine...... I'll then try the COUCH !!! I stayed in the dumb bed until NOON while my horses and dogs waited for me to feed them and they were glad to finally see me........ I guess I'll try to stay away from the bed but I don't think it will work.... I dont know what else to do ............I dont want to do any of the things I know I need to do ......... this is a horrible fight and why does it exist? That is what I wanna know and how to FIX it ? We can put men into space but cant cure depression........ Hmmmmm

[sujunew]

You are so good at putting it all into one little post Vaq! I have to get up in the morns for the kids but after that... I have a tv in the bedroom, but it's not plugged in and doesn't have a remote so I can't be bothered with that! I do have a duvet up in the lounge tho (lol). Lets just hope that one day they WILL find a complete cure for all these horrible illnesses. Life would just be life, and we would be able to ride the rollercoasters without falling off the track... Here's hoping

[tracylee]

It's so true!! I would much rather stay in bed to escape everything and everyone!! I went to bed at about 5 this morning and then up again at about 8 am and then i went back to bed and woke up at about 7 tonight, I cannot seem to get back into a 'normal' routine. Men on the moon and no quick and permanent way of sorting out depression............

Hi irishsj,
I like to snuggle under the comforters when life gets too complicated for me to deal with, too.
I think kids and animals are a great way of getting you up and out- even when you really don't want to. I know I'd be in my bed a lot longer in the mornings if my dogs didn't need to be taken out and fed.
I agree with Patricia72. You're fighting it and you should pat yourself on the back for that. Any little positive change is good and should be recognized. All too often we magnify every little thing we do wrong but let all of what we do right just slip through the cracks and then we wonder why we want to crawl into bed.
If your nice, snuggly warm bed offers you comfort and shelter through your feeling lousy then forgive yourself for being drawn to it.

[sujunew]

My nurse was here today. She is on at me SOOO much to join groups and get out of the house, but I can't stand the thought of having to face ppl. It never used to be as bad as this. I used to be able to take no1 daughter to music and mvmt sessions no prob, and that is what I am aiming to do now, but it is the thought of all these ppl in a room- I'm starting to feel claustraphobic just writing about it- and knowing that they are all going to want to meet you and talk with you becoz you are the new one. Of course, initially the focus will be on no2 daughter but when the session ends... I hate it when my nurse asks me to DO something. It's not so bad when she has suggestions but when she actually asks me to find out about these groups and then go, I kinda feel obligated to. She has done so much for me I feel guilty if I let her down. And as she keeps reminding me (altho I know it for myself) I have to help myself. Meds aren't going to do it, esp as I saw the pdoc yesterday and she has not changed my meds in the slightest- but I do get another review in 8 weeks. I just don't know how I'm gonna cope for all this time- it seems such a long way off and I have sunk so far down. The strangest thing is that everybody I meet, I think without exception, comments on how well I'm looking, and how I haven't looked so good for so long. I know I 'wear a mask' in front of everyone, but I didn't realise I was that good. One good thing about yesterdays docs appt is that she DID see past the mask, and made a comment on how she could see that I had slipped... But I'm gonna go now, as I think I have rambled on and on enough for one post! That, and it is getting late and I should've taken my meds about 1 hour ag0- it makes ALL the diference in getting up in the morn. In fact, now I won't even take them coz if I do it will be too much of a struggle to get up to no2 in the morning.