I have all the symptoms...

of have been sexual abused, but have no recallection whatsoever. I even feel like I don't know if I want to find out, but at the same time it seems like something is missing.
I don't know what to do...

Do you have a T or p-doc?

Maybe you could print out a list of issues that you identify with and bring them in and talk with her/him about them.

Maybe dialogue would help confirm or deny suspicions.

Try to do this with a professional though. There is a lot of controversy about books like The Courage to Heal which promotes uncovering memories.

The Courage to Heal is a book that actively encourages memory recovery techniques to uncover hidden repressed memories of childhood abuse and is often cited by supporters of the theory. It is controversial in that the authors have no psychological training, and base their opinions on their own experiences, rather than studies of the population at large. The newer edition of The Courage to Heal attempts to address these issues, although not thorougly enough for many people who were hurt by the book. The current consensus of those who conduct psychotherapy is that books like The Courage to Heal should only be used by survivors who have continuous memories of sexual abuse.

Read more HERE

Go slow,

Petunia

I'm the same way. My symptoms are all things that would have to do with past abuse, but I can't remember anything that "serious" that it should affect me so badly. I don't know if I want to remember either, but it could help with healing. I feel for ya, take care.

(Petunia) I don't want to go any faster than this year has been for me, lol.
Seriuosly, I know what I feel sometimes, but I still don't trust too many Ts and I don't think I'm ready to know.
Thank you for all the info~

(Complic8d) well, I don't feel so alone on this now, Thank you so much~

I think the memories come when we are able to handle them.. and I am not convinced all memories come to us...I have alot of memories that seem more like movie clips that aren't even real...like it isn't ME... but I know it is...

And i can't even explain them alot of the time because they are so vague. like a dream you can't quite recall enuf to talk about but yet you know what it was about....and then i wonder if it was a dream and not a memory...

I had to stop thinking about it.... stop trying to figure it out... .I had to stop trying to have the memories...and just let them come if they were gonna come..

I wish you the best.... Faith

{{{Faith}}} that's exactly what I'm doing at the moment.
I know it'll hit me again, the "want to know" thing, but I'll see how I can handle it.
Thanks!

just to let you know i know the feeling biplol and i wish i had some answers for you. hang in there and good luck.
biiv

I am the same way. I remember a little bit of the abuse BUT I DONT REMEMBER THE PERSON WHO sexually abused me. It sucks b/c I feel like I can't trust anyone. Yet I have reoccuring thoughts and visulizations of this man, and it will never go away.

{{{{{{biiv}}}}}}} Thanks hon~

{{{{{{MindOverMatter}}}}}}} Welcome to PC! I'm so sorry hon, I know how you feel and thank you for the empathy~

<font color="purple"> Biplol i'm so sorry to hear what you are going threw...i know it can really suck at times when our memory don't want to collaborate with us..but i tell myself that maybe it's for a reason..that we don't remember...i don't know..i'm kinda stuck in the same situation..that i remember parts and don't know who...and it was told to me by somebody else who did it...oh so confusing...i sometimes think that i'm kinda watching parts of a movie..well im sending you plenty of hugs your way {{{{{{{{{biplol}}}}}}}}} You take care! </font>

{{{{{{{{{{{{{San}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Thanks so much hon~