[dahliaflower12]

I've had depression and anxiety for thirteen years. I also have a sleep problem that does not fit into any of the typical disorder categories, and for the past six years I have slept at least 12 hours a day. I am always tired. I can't work a job.

I feel as though I am trapped in my body. I don't know what's wrong with me. Everyone tells me things will get better, and I believe them, but it's so difficult to keep going on, year after year, appointment after appointment.

I cry every day. I am young, not even 20 years old, and my youth has been consumed by my mental illness and fatigue.

I wonder what the value of my life is at this point. What is all of this worth?

mental illness has totally ruined my life, so you really arn't alone.

i ask that question every night, believe me.. why am i here, what is my purpose.

1 of my fears is always that i'll never amount to anything- and i know i'm not the only one who thinks like that.

hugs to you- and i'm here to talk if you need someone

[Leed]

i've suffered from depression since I was a small child. I don't remember not being depressed. Ever! I've been on meds for probably over 40 years. And I too wondered why I was here. I knew God had a reason for putting me here but I didn't know what it was.

Then I started going to different forums on the web. I started with spinal disorders, because I have severe spinal problems, and I could help others with questions about surgeries, etc. So I joined several forums and helped alot of people.

Then I went to several "depression" forums because I'd been thru therapy for years, and perhaps I could help a person or two with depression.

I got to thinking that maybe that's why I was here. Just to help people with problems similar to mine. Maybe THAT'S my reason for being here. Who knows? All I know is that it feels good when someone says thanks for helping, or they tell me that they feel better. That's a reward better than a years salary doing anything else!

Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[CgRgSm]

Hello dahliaflower12,

I am sorry for your loss. Your life sounds almost exactly the same as mine. I am a 22 yr old male and I have been deeply depressed for most of my life. I do have the thing where you feel so tired all the time, and yes, I can sleep for an entire day and wake up and be tired again. I do have a job currently, but I can barely work it. Depression takes everything from us, and will eventually take our lives, I'm getting there.

God, I feel trapped just like you, and I am SO sorry. Please, listen. Things will not get better unless you find the problem, and solve it. For me, I know exactly what my problem is, but I see no possible solution. Maybe for you there can be a solution.

While I am not much of a person who cries, I feel the sorrow every day. I have no will to live, I do not know why I continue to get up and night, go to work and come back. I am sorry you feel the way you do, like you lost a part of your life. I feel like I lost my youth as well, and that my life is as good as over. I hated my school days, they were nothing but pain.

I am sorry, I don't know all of the answers. I wonder these questions every day. However, there is a reason for everything. Maybe I can help you identify your problems? You can pm me any time.

[MariaMagdalene2005]

Depression needs to be treated with medication and therapy combined. There is no other way, if you all want to get better, look for this two treatments, never give up! There is always a right treatment for the right person. And don't you ever forget exercise that help balance chemicals. Remember depression is related to an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, that is why affects energy and sleep patterns. Don't lose hope. If a treatment does not work, try another one and another one. I wish you the best!

[IceCreamKid]

It sounds like you might be tired because you are not getting enough exercise. Have you ever considered consulting an occupational therapist?

[LiveThroughThis]

Originally Posted by dahliaflower12

I also have a sleep problem that does not fit into any of the typical disorder categories, and for the past six years I have slept at least 12 hours a day. I am always tired. I can't work a job.

I wanted to touch on this. I strongly urge you to check out the "Sleep" forums. I have been having the same trouble as you with my sleep, and I just found out weeks ago I mostly likely have Sleep Apnea. I'm not saying you have that, but maybe you'll read some stuff in the sleep forum that sounds like you and you can begin tackling it? I was sleeping 10-12 hours a day, sometimes more, and never felt rested. I think *fingers crossed* I am getting to the bottom of it.

I relate to everything else you said as well---regularly I think about how I can't hold down a job, or really drive. A lot of "What am I even here for?" comes up. I go to therapy and that does help immensely. But if there were easy fixes for what so many of us on this forum have, I don't think we'd be here,

Feel free to message me. There are a lot of good people here with a lot of good info.

[wing]

There's hope, dahlia. As much of my life has been wasted by MI, eventually through therapy and medication I was able to regain control of my symptoms and even finish college and have a career. You say you are young, so you have time for those two things (therapy and psychiatry) to help you gain control. A healthy lifestyle is something you can take control of, and it is a major part of recovery and psych maintenance.

[ifeeltheweight]

Originally Posted by dahliaflower12

I've had depression and anxiety for thirteen years. I also have a sleep problem that does not fit into any of the typical disorder categories, and for the past six years I have slept at least 12 hours a day. I am always tired. I can't work a job.

I feel as though I am trapped in my body. I don't know what's wrong with me. Everyone tells me things will get better, and I believe them, but it's so difficult to keep going on, year after year, appointment after appointment.

I cry every day. I am young, not even 20 years old, and my youth has been consumed by my mental illness and fatigue.

I wonder what the value of my life is at this point. What is all of this worth?

One of the things that's helped me stay around is that I got in better shape. It has helped my energy level and my mood somewhat. I also read and play video games. I know that doesn't sound like much but those games make me laugh and smile. Try not to consume yourself with self worth questions. We drive those feelings, so you are only tearing yourself down. Your young and have a long life ahead of you. Consider this time as a learning experience. You've learned a lot about yourself, so now is the time to use that to your advantage. People with depression have an advantage there because we can't run from our truths. Use what you know about yourself and illness to move forward. You know what you like and don't, what triggers you have, when you feel the most fatigued and so on. Get yourself on a schedule and get something that will occupy your mind. Put all that knowledge to use. For me, it was music, I love listening to music but with a wife and kids and work, I don't get time to listen. So I purchased a good set of cans and now I make time to listen to music on my headphones. It helps me when I'm down. Small changes like that have kept me going. They make a difference.