[Sezzie]

Hi again All.
I'm a wee bit confused at the moment. I seem to have developed a bit of a crush on my psychiatrist. Woopsy. I know it's not a good thing because of the imbalance of power and all. He's just so sweet but i feel stink when i'm with him a bit. Just because he has a life and mine is sort of up in smoke at the mo. Worken on it. I suppose i'm a work in progress. I'm not shy at all to talk to him and i wouldn't do anything like make mega flirtatious comments or put the moves on him or anything. I just enjoy who he is. I'm not going to stalk him or anything. I'm just wondering if it's truly a crush or whether it's an admiration i have for him. I dunno. What do you guys reckon i should do? Has any of you out there had this sort of experience? I don't meet my psychiatrist very often so i probably don't need to get a new one- or do i? Do you reckon i should mention this at all to him or just let it go? Dunno, I'm just a silly girl. I'm interested to hear what you people think about this sort of situation!
-Sezzie-

[darkeyes]

Nah, you aren't a silly girl, you are human.
I had sort of a similar thing occur, and I even spoke to my T about what was happening, he said it happens often, during a time of someone's life where they are in crisis or just in need of someone to listen, the client/patient get to feeling "someone cares", and starts to have close feelings. It can even reach points where one starts to fantasize . . .
My former T called it infatuation, and ruled out transference, but even that may have been questionable.
Due to job relo, we had to move so the T became "former", but even if we hadn't moved it was becoming uncomfortable for him and hurtful to me, cause he sort of became nasty with remarks of the time he "invested" in working with me, etc. hell, I paid for my sessions, so I even became confused, "was he even starting to like me"? I'll never know, he barely said "good luck with our move," at our last session, which he just had me sign a release for his record of me to be forwarded to the new pdoc and T, where we had been relocated to.
What you are feeling is not unusual, but try not to allow yourself to get caught up in this, it can be an obsession that hurts in the end, especially when you come to realize or are told that the feelings aren't mutual.
Please take care,
DE

I'm wishing you lots of healing and luck with this.

[(JD)]

IMO there has to be some kind of a connection so that therapy and all "works." Admiration is quite acceptable. If you find your thoughts moving into a more sexual realm, then it might be a good thing to discuss with the T. Attachment ...well... yes it happens. T's can use it to the benefit of the patient, as in modeling and example of good behavior. Many ppl who are in therapy don't really know what good, safe, caring feelings "feel" like, I think. TC

[sujunew]

Hey sezzie! Long time no hear!! I refuse to see male docs (kinda difficult down here where we struggle to get any docs anyway- for a while we didn't even have a hospital psychologist and atm the waiting list is very long for the one that is here) so I haven't had to deal with this situation. It sounds kinda tricky tho but as DE and _sky said there does need to be some connection in order for you to get the best possible treatment. Maybe if, as you said, you only see him once in a while you don't need to do anything but if you start thinking about him and it gets a bit full on, then maybe you should reassess the situation. Sorry I have rambled )as usual!) and I can't offer you much advice, but tc

[zombiette]

apparently this is quite common, i read this book "an uncommon dialogue" by debra j. drake a while ago (available at borders!) which talked about this woman's experience with the whole attachment issue in therapy...b/c apparently a lot of ppl in therapy haven't had very good relationships or anyone to listen before, once they start to trust their therapist they feel they finally have this. so maybe it's not him but what he represents....(and if it's any consolation i've found myself wishing the therapists i've had were my mother instead of my real mother!)

[Sezzie]

Hi again All.
I've been having a weird couple of days lately and that's why i haven't been posting or responding. I've been really out of it! I'm coming way back down to my depressed state!!! Like way bak down. I took some stimulants like every day for a week which made me feel so high and now i'm coming back dowhn way down now after stopping taking them. I'm back to the state of feeling like there is no future. I've stuffed up my life so badly! People I so need your help right now. I'm so depressed. I only took those pills because none of the prescription ones work for me.
I can totally identify with you Zombiette- I have had some therapists that i wish were my mother or sister. It's kind of funny. I feel really stink when this happens because i know it's all false and that i probably don't mean that much to them!
-Sarah-

[(JD)]

Self medicating is only a short term solution, and often does cause more problems in the long run. How long had you been trying the prescription ones? What did your T suggest you do, when you decided to take the benies instead?

If nothing else, sezzie, please try to remember that you aren't thinking clearly right now, and it isn't a good time to make any big decisions.

[zombiette]

Hi Sezzie,
you might not want to hear this but taking stimulants etc kinda defeats the purpose of prescription meds in the first place. it'll give you a short high but once you come down u feel even worse b/c that stuff screws with the chemicals in ur brain...the prescription meds take quite a while to work and hafta be taken consistently in order to do so, but they're worth it in the end. it can also be a bit of a process of trial and error.
Plz take care of urself gurl
Zombiette