[Nobodyandnothing]

I am so tired of this...
It is all I can do to get my 15 year old son out the door to the school bus, then I collapse. I used to work 50 and 60 hour weeks at a very demanding job. That's all gone now. My husband is retired and he works on things around the house all day. I am useless. I hate to leave the house.

I have treatment resistant depression. I have tried everything the psychatrist has suggested...tricylics, SSRIs, MAOIs. I have had countless ECT sessions (and as a result I cannot remember the first 50+ years of my life.

I currently take wellbutrin xr, 40 mg lexipro, 50 mg nortriptlene, and ambien. I have gained 60 pounds in the last year. Any comments about this combination?

I recently started seeing a therapist at my psychiatrist's request. I follow all the p's suggestions because I am terrified that he may "fire" me. I do not get anything out of the sessions. Can someone explain the point of therapy?

I really am nobody and I feel less than nothing. Please don't tell me to "hang in there." This latest episode has gone on since 2004. I have no faith it will ever end. I am sorry to rant. I don't have anyone to talk to. My old friends have all dropped me and I can't blame them nor can I reach out to anyone. My H barely puts up with me. Thank you for your time.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. I can understand what's going on.

For one thing, I'm going to suggest that you switch therapists and do it SOON. I suspect that you just do NOT "click" with this therapist. I went thru several therapists before I found one that I could really relate to. All the others just basically sat there and grunted -- I got no feedback from them at all. What is the point of going to them if they're not going to help me??? Why should I talk all hour if they aren't going to give me something I can use? It makes no sense. So I changed to another --- then another -- then another -- until I FINALLY found a WOMAN (Thank God) who actually TALKED to me, and gave me stuff that I could use! She was awesome!

So please find another therapist. You don't have to tell your current therapist -- when you have your appointment for the other one, about a week before, go to the office and tell them you need your records as you're going to another therapist. You might have to give them time to copy your files. You don't HAVE to give them a reason but if you want to be honest, go ahead!

I have clinical depression, and I'll have it the rest of my life. I'm also a VERY hard patient to treat according to my doctors. I'm medication-resistant. I've awakened on the operating table during major surgery 3 times! They couldn't give me enough to keep me asleep! They were afraid to give me much more but they HAD to in order to get me back to sleep cause they weren't done yet. I'm also a chronic pain patient, and the docs are afraid to give me enough to ease my pain -- so I'm in agony a good share of the time.

BUT -- my doc has me on Cymbalta 65mg twice a day along with Abilify and that has done the trick with me. My depression has been severe ever since I was a small child, but i didn't get treated til I was in my 20's. So I'm amazed that this drug works so well. You might want to suggest it to your doc -- I don't know if it will work for you, but it sure does for me!

I wish you the very best. Please let me know how you do once you change therapists will you please? Private message me or something, but I REALLY want to know. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Mogeii]

Well if you have done ECT and all kinds of meds, I would suggest finding a good therapist and trying alternative treatments. DO NOT EVER NEVER EVER EVER STOP TAKING YOUR MEDS WITHOUT BEING WEANED OFF BY YOUR DOCTOR. But 9/10 alternative therapies you can research dont require you to be med free. Really if you are honestly hopeless with your meds and the ETC didn't help you, why wait for them to finally work randomly. Try CBT programs, try self help books, there are a million things out there. Heres the hardest part, if there were literally a million things you could try, ide say about 50 of them would work lol. But hey you say you collapse, try some internet stuff or books that you can do while collapsed on the bed or couch. As for your meds, I was on lexapro and wellbutrin awhile ago, Lexapro was mildly effective but also mild in side effects and easy to come off of. Wellbutrin I took for 2 days and never gave it a fair chance but its known for being one of the better meds out there when you compare effectiveness to side effects etc. And btw saying you are nothing and a nobody is good ole depression talking . Nobody is a nobody, and if you are a mom and a wife and a human being, you are quite a bit more than a nothing!

[Miswimmy1]

first off,i don't think your p can "fire" you. you are the one paying him/her after all. next, I think that you should switch either both docs, or at least just your therapist. You sound as if you haven't "clicked" with this current one... Trust your gut. If you feel like it isn't working, then it isn't working, and you should get a new one. With a great t, you should see improvement quickly... best of luck to you!

[whimsygirl]

Originally Posted by Nobodyandnothing

I am so tired of this...
It is all I can do to get my 15 year old son out the door to the school bus, then I collapse. I used to work 50 and 60 hour weeks at a very demanding job. That's all gone now. My husband is retired and he works on things around the house all day. I am useless. I hate to leave the house.

I have treatment resistant depression. I have tried everything the psychatrist has suggested...tricylics, SSRIs, MAOIs. I have had countless ECT sessions (and as a result I cannot remember the first 50+ years of my life.

I currently take wellbutrin xr, 40 mg lexipro, 50 mg nortriptlene, and ambien. I have gained 60 pounds in the last year. Any comments about this combination?

I recently started seeing a therapist at my psychiatrist's request. I follow all the p's suggestions because I am terrified that he may "fire" me. I do not get anything out of the sessions. Can someone explain the point of therapy?

I really am nobody and I feel less than nothing. Please don't tell me to "hang in there." This latest episode has gone on since 2004. I have no faith it will ever end. I am sorry to rant. I don't have anyone to talk to. My old friends have all dropped me and I can't blame them nor can I reach out to anyone. My H barely puts up with me. Thank you for your time.

Hello. Well to start off....I will absolutely NOT say "hang in there". Gotta admit, although I realize people mean well when they say that.....it makes me crazy to read it. I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad. I do relate too. I've never had any relief from any of the antidepressants I've been on, or any of the years of therapy in my past. Ending on a brighter note, though, after going through several therapists I finally am with one now who is actually able to help me, and who is everything I always wanted in a counselor. I know it can be so frustrating to keep looking, but I do hope that, if you decide to look for someone new, you will find one who is able to SHOW you what the point of therapy is. That's what has finally happened for me. Warm wishes for better times ~whimsy

[Nobodyandnothing]

You are all very kind. Thank you.

ps- I have 5 children. The 15 year old is the youngest and sadly, he has inherited my depression. So far, the others seem to have avoided it but they are almost at the age I had my first episode. I have never really been a "mother" to any of them becsuse of work and depression. I do wish I could remember their growing up.

If you have children, love them, hug them, and keep them close. Those days fly by.