I need help

I am not suicidal per se, but I cannot think of a reason to live anymore.

My ex boyfriend and I were on the verge of reconciling when I screwed it up, and he's been freezing me out for a week now. My best friend decided she hated me back in February for no apparent reason. My mom died a few years ago (single parent, only child) and my family has become more and more distant from me..I only just found out that one of my cousins is 9 months pregnant, and another one is 4 months pregnant. Nobody bothered to tell me. Nobody bothers to return my calls.

I have been bouncing around jobs for years now..unfortunately that's how my industry works, but I'm exhausted, and there just aren't any jobs available right now. I've been temping but it's not enough money, and it's inconsistent, and it's below the level I've worked really hard to get to.

I'm just so unhappy. I am completely in love with my ex but he hates me (just a week ago he told me how much he loved me..I said one wrong thing (which wasn't even that bad) and suddenly I don't exist), I miss my best friend like crazy, I miss my mom even more, I'm in debt and in trouble financially..I have nothing good in my life anymore. I am so unhappy..I cannot stand it anymore.

Hello & Welcome, Cantdothisanymore!

No one can blame you for being at the end of your rope -- the past, the present, the overwhelming, the annoying are all attacking you at once. Some of those things you cannot control at all. Some you may only be able to influence in small measure, at least you might if the crushing weight of everything didn't drain you of energy and shut down your imagination.

You cannot rely on your usual sources of assistance. Have you sought counseling or other forms of help in your area? Do you need help locating what might be available?

I echo Rohag... I think at this point, your feelings are too overwhleming for you to deal with on your own. And you don't have to. Seek outside counseling, talk to a religious elder, etc. There is no reason to feel like this, and there is hope. You will feel better.

It seems like there is a lot going on in your life right now but it's not good and it's all overwhelming. I agree with the others. If you can, try to get some counseling. Maybe a therapist can help you figure out how to reopen the lines of communication to your boyfriend and your family. At the very least he/she can help you learn how to handle all those feelings you have going on. Good Luck and please keep posting.