[Hellion]

Seriously does it never end?...I am sick of trying to push the feeling that nothing is enjoyable away in an effort to enjoy things and/or not bring others down by being all unenthusiastic and depressed when I am around people trying to enjoy themselves.

Any time I start feeling a little better over-all it never lasts...I mean its like on occasion I am able to build a little confidence and see things as more hopeful like I might wake up feeling more or less ok one morning and think I can go get a job for instance.......so then I might even spend more money than I should or use my credit card when I shouldn't on the basis of 'oh well if I can keep this feeling up I can for sure figure something out and it will be fine.' Then the next day I'll feel totally hopeless and its a struggle to even drag myself out of bed not to mention I realize how stupid I was for falling for it again and screwing myself more financially all because I thought maybe it would be ok.

I mean what is even the point of trying anymore..the constant pain and misery that even prevents me from enjoying anything I might distract myself with is really exausting.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Hellion

...the constant pain and misery that even prevents me from enjoying anything I might distract myself with is really exausting.

This is true.

Originally Posted by Hellion

I am sick of trying to push the feeling that nothing is enjoyable away in an effort to enjoy things and/or not bring others down...

This may sound counter-intuitive, but have you tried not trying to push those feelings away? What I mean is accept that your mood, in x time and y place, will almost certainly prevent you from enjoying the activity. Then you can decide whether or not your presence with your friends would damage their enjoyment. Your not being able to enjoy yourself will not always prevent them from having fun (sometimes it might).

Anyway, here's hoping the times of feeling a little better will appear more often.

[Hellion]

Originally Posted by Rohag

This is true.

This may sound counter-intuitive, but have you tried not trying to push those feelings away? What I mean is accept that your mood, in x time and y place, will almost certainly prevent you from enjoying the activity. Then you can decide whether or not your presence with your friends would damage their enjoyment. Your not being able to enjoy yourself will not always prevent them from having fun (sometimes it might).

Anyway, here's hoping the times of feeling a little better will appear more often.

Yeah sometimes I do try not to...but after a while it becomes unbearable so naturally I don't want to feel that way anymore. Also it kinda seems its more likely to go the opposite way I almost wish those times would appear less so I don't get my hopes up.