[LostMom3]

My 20 year old son just came home from being in prison for 18 months. He was supposed to do 2 years but was paroled early. He has a long juvenile record. Three months after he turned 17 he got 5 terroristic threats charges, and 5 years probation. Two years into the probation he was caught driving with no license. When they searched the car they found his gun. He was not supposed to have a gun he is a convicted felon. He is also gang affiliated. Not sure he is actually in the gang.
My 23 year old messed up when he was 21 and drunk. His supposed friend brought a 15 year old girl to his motel room and she gave him oral sex. A few months later the gitl told her parents about that episode and the truth about having sex with my sons supposed friend. He is in his 50's. My son has been charged with aggravated child molestation and statutory rape. He is looking at 10 to 25 years.
I have been having nightmares about both of my sons. Now that the younger one is home, I worry he will get in trouble again. But I worry most about my oldest. Those are harch charges to have going into a prison. Especially when you are that young, not very big, and really rather good looking. I am so scared of what will happen to him. I stay in a constant state of panic. I am jumpy. My voices won't shut up about it. How can I cope with what is going on when my nerves and condition won't let up.
I have just started taking meds again. Figure I will need them more now than ever before.

[Leed]

Bless your heart. I went thru the same thing with my son. He and his "friend" got drunk and set a farmers field on fire. They were convicted of arson, and got sentenced to 4 years. My son did 2 1/2. He was in what USED to be the largest walled prison in the world. I was terrified of what might happen to him because he's 6'3" but only weight about 140. There are murderers, rapists, you name it in there. Luckily, nothing "bad" happened to him. He would have told me, for sure.

We got thru probabion ok, but now he's been in the hospital for almost 3 months due to alcohol. He almost died as his liver stopped working completely. Today I bring him home. His liver is working a "little." He won't live a long life, and if he drinks again, it's certain death.

I know your fears dearheart. All I can say is YOU taught your children right from wrong. You instilled in them what you were suppoed to. THEY HAVE MADE THEIR OWN CHOICES. YOU did NOT tell them to make these choices they're making now. This is NOT your fault and there is nothing you can do about it.

I know you feel helpless, and I did too while my son was drinking. But there is/was nothing we can do!!! Once they have left our home, that's it. And even if they still live in the home, once they go out for the night, we can't control them after they're 18. There's not a darn thing we can do. They hook up with the wrong people, and that's it.

I know you're panicked. I know you're worried. I know you're sick. But you have to take care of YOU. Yes, we love our children, but we're killing ourselves with this worry & panic. We have to give our children to God. WE have to PRAY that God will watch over them. That's what I have done, and so far it has worked, because my son is alive and 3 months ago, they called us at the hospital at 3:30am and toldl us to come because he was dying. And today Im bringing him HOME! And this is also the child that at 7 yrs old, they told us he was dying of leukemia, in 1977, but guess what? He beat it!!! So God has saved this boy many many times!

I'm not saying to give up on your sons. Not by any means. Of course you have to support them. But don't ENABLE THEM. Don't bail them out, or make things to easy for them. They'll never learn. Just give them to God to take care of. You have to have some peace of mind my dear. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, LostMom3!

Originally Posted by LostMom3

...I stay in a constant state of panic. I am jumpy. My voices won't shut up about it. How can I cope with what is going on when my nerves and condition won't let up.
I have just started taking meds again. Figure I will need them more now than ever before.

I believe you intuitively know what's necessary. The best thing you can do for your sons is to take the best care of yourself now. We've just about all heard the airplane oxygen mask analogy: "Place the mask on yourself first and then help those around you who are unable to assist themselves." You first have to be in a condition to be helpful before you can be helpful.

Please, continue to post.

[jelly-bean]

Leed and Rohag said it all. We are here for you when you need us.