THIS is what I have been labeling "Depression"

Am I capable and competent enough to thrive in this world without selling out to it?

Are my feelings valid? Am I valid?

If I love you, is it enough? Do I deserve to be loved in return?

I.DON'T.KNOW.

Too many sins of omission. Too many "leave me alone"s, "leave them alone"s, "I love you"s never said. Too many "I'm sorry"s that I never meant, or that I should have said but never did. A life not LIVED. I will fail you.
I look in the mirror and I hate that man. I look out at the world, and I see the same ****, different day. Nothing changes because I am not changing it.

I have lost something along the way. I have lost my self. A door has been opened that I can never close again. A question has been asked, it needs an answer, I have nothing to give it. I am so glad I have T tomorrow.

<----- P.S.: I love the irony that my Mood is "Fine"

Rational mind: "Dude, chill, do you want this stuff known to the whole internet!?"

Feeling mind: "Perhaps if you never stuffed it down in the first place, you wouldn't be feeling so messed up today!! Maybe someone will relate to this and we can all feel rainbows and sunshine."

Bah.