[Snowy83]

Hi! I'm new here, see that you guys giving each other support really let me feel warm here, and I would like to join here too.

For the past few months, I've been keep thinking of how people hurt me in the past that made my depression worse. I have depression for few years. Few months ago, I felt lonely so I went up to a chatting site to chat with people. Then I met this guy who claimed to want to learn English and I helped him as much as I can.

We chatted for two months, I was always on my guard to this guy though, because I found he lied and flirted quite a lot (even though i told him to stop flirting), but it got to a point that I couldn't put up with him anymore, when i decided to cut ties with him, he turned ugly...He said some hurtful things to me like I was worthless (as I told him that was how I felt about myself before) and he said he could understand why no one like me (becoz I'm single). I felt so hurt that I reported him to a mod on that chat site and even warned others about him, but they didn't believe me, and the mod even pouring salt on my wounds. It triggered me to my first attempt at suicide, I felt so alone and no one value my words...

No matter how much I have been self talking to myself to make myself think positive, what I gain from this incident instead of negative, still I feel up and down these days...How can I come out of this and not dwelling on it anymore?? not making my depression worse?? I know what he said was just a revenge, but it still hurt me Do you guys have similar experience like me that you got hurt by what people said? How you come out of it? Please help me...

[Leed]

Sweetie, have you ever heard this? "Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me." Have you ever heard that before? That's an old old saying we used to say as kids when other kids called us names. Well it's true. When people say bad things to you, they're just WORDS -- the WORDS can't hurt you. Only solid objects can hurt you when they are thrown at you, right?? So don't let people's words hurt you -- just smile at people when they say bad things, and walk away. That will make those people mad, and you will have WON!! YOU will have hurt them without even sayiing a word! LOL

Don't let this man's words hurt you anymore. They are just words, right? They dont mean anything. They can't hurt you sweetie. Don't pay any attention to them. Only stones can hurt you, ok?

Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee

[LostMom3]

Do you have a therapist? If not, I suggest that you find one. This person was just lashing out at you in a way that he new would hurt you and it did. Now, you need to let that go and seeing as you can not on your own, I suggesy a good talk with a therapist. You are not worthless. He did not think that when you were helping him learn English, just when you rebuffed his flirting attempts. I am often hurt by what others say to me. I am just lucky that my father is a therapist and I can call him any time of day and talk. But I am looking for one that is close to home that knows less of my personal history.

[CandleGlow]

Try this mantra, say it to yourself, and believe it - " What others think of me, is none of my business" Think about it, their hurtful behaviour is their Karma - It may need some practice, but it can be truly liberating! Wishing you well...

[Snowy83]

Thank you all!!!! I will take all your advice and going to try that. It's true that this is a karma of being a bad person, no matter what I would never want to be cruel like that. I'm trying to focus on what I've learned from this and what I've gained, one of them is I found this site and there are people here really listen to me and give me comfort when I need it Really really thank you!!!!

I haven't consult a therapist or take any meds, not only is it expensive to visit a private doctor, the gov's ones also have a long waiting list...And I'm still finding a reason WHY I want to help myself and keep living....

[jelly-bean]

You want to help yourself and keep living because you are important in this world. That guy was trying to hurt you on purpose and he succeeded but that shows a glaring flaw in his character not yours. You sound like a good, kind person who is looking for a little help and we can help give you that. We need you here to support us as well because all of us need a little help sometimes. Thanks for being here.

[Snowy83]

Yes I know this is his purpose to hurt me and I fall for it, so stupid of me and is one of the reason beating myself up, he knew it and probably happy dancing right now. However, I like to think that hurt make you wake up, hurt make you learn, hurt make you remember your lesson. OH I'm thinking positive now!! YES!!!

I'm feeling worthless for so long, I tried to change it by helping and giving support to people on here and other sites, whenever they said thank you or I'm caring/great person, etc. this make me feel so happy.

[LostMom3]

I am glad you are feeling better and thinking positive. There are alot of people out there that have mean streaks in them instead of caring about others. You are one of the ones that cares. Don't let this man change that. Keep being happy and positive. Keep giving support to others and others will continur to give you support.

[oliamble]

Snowny83 welcome to PC, I'm new too. I know how it feels when someone plays with others feelings. Bad on this person's part b/c you were seeking help not a romance or anything else of that nature. Be positive in your self, tell your self always how good of a person you are and don't let this bother you him telling these negative things about you.

Life goes on and soon this will pass and other things come to worry about. I'm new to PC too and plan to be very involved with the site.

[oliamble]

Yea snowny83 I have been put through similar situations and there are such mean and desperate people out there that truly don't care if they hurt, bully someone to the point of stressing that person out of proportion. Be strong minded and don't let them (him in this case) to let you fall in in what he wants. You will overcome this, you'll see, and I feel same way about helping out and :-)