[Waterbottle922]

So I'm currently extremely sad. I want to curl up in a ball and just cry until I pass out or die,whichever happens first. I know I need to see my therapist but she is booked until Wednesday when I have an appointment. I wish I could say I could take my medicine and be okay but my medicine is all mixed up and my pdoc isn't back in the office until Monday next week.
I'm at work and trying to calm myself down but I don't know what's triggering such a high level of depression right now. I'm already crying and cant afford to do it in front of customers. And I feel weighed down and just heavy like an elephant is on my shoulders. I'm shaky with racing thoughts, and I just don't know what to do. Telling myself that I need to feel better isnt helping, or even healthy.
I'm trying to identify triggers that make me feel this way but I can't seem to do it. I just feel...does that even make sense?

[Miswimmy1]

It sounds to me like anxiety. Racing thoughts, etc. can u call ur t? Or your doc? Email? U say something about you medication being messed up. What do u mean by that? Are u taking it?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Waterbottle922!

Originally Posted by Waterbottle922

Telling myself that I need to feel better isnt helping, or even healthy.

I 100% agree! My moods have never responded to being "shoulded" or "oughted."

You may be new here, but you are not new to depression/anxiety. Identifying triggers is a valuable endeavor, but it may take time, and the triggers may not be obvious.

Originally Posted by Waterbottle922

my medicine is all mixed up

That needs to be considered as a possible trigger or enabling condition, too.

Please make yourself at home!

[Waterbottle922]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

It sounds to me like anxiety. Racing thoughts, etc. can u call ur t? Or your doc? Email? U say something about you medication being messed up. What do u mean by that? Are u taking it?

I did call my therapist. We talked through some coping skills, but then she had to go because she had an appointment. My doctor is unreachable unless she is in the office which makes me angry. And yeah my medication isn't helping take the edge off of anything, so I think it should be re-evaluated. I have been taking the medication as prescribed, even the as needed Ativan and it doesn't help. But I take it hoping this is the time that it will work.

[Waterbottle922]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome, Waterbottle922!

I 100% agree! My moods have never responded to being "shoulded" or "oughted."

You may be new here, but you are not new to depression/anxiety. Identifying triggers is a valuable endeavor, but it may take time, and the triggers may not be obvious.

That needs to be considered as a possible trigger or enabling condition, too.

Please make yourself at home!

Thanks for the warm welcome!
Yeah my medication makes me angry, because it doesn't work the way it should. And it makes me more anxious that I'll really lose it at work. Triggers are really tricky for me. I've gotten the tip to start writing down what's happening before the attacks so maybe I can see a pattern, but I haven't started that. I will start tomorrow. Today was more of a smack upside the head from depression mixed with a pinch from anxiety. My health comes first, before work so we shall see what happens from here.
I was feeling so down I even looked at the brookhaven retreat center.its in Tennessee in the great smokey mountains. The only problem is that it is a three month program and they don't take insurance. So it's gonna be costly. But I'm going to see what I can do about my doctor and maybe switching before I lose all hope and runaway to a treatment facility hours away.

[jelly-bean]

I'm sorry that you are feeling so badly right now. Depression can do a number on you when you least expect it. You say that you have an appt with your T on Wednesday. Be sure to tell him/her that the meds are not working and you need something different. Maybe the new meds will help make the problem a little more manageable. Also, please call and make an appt with your regular doc as well. Good Luck!

Sorry you're having a hard time right now. I haven't seen much in the way of triggers in my experience with depression.
I think the suggestions about meds and anx might be relevant. Has your doc even mentioned agitated depression?
The basic theory goes that there is situational depression and clinical depression.
Hope the sun shines soon

[whimsygirl]

Hi Waterbottle.....I think the others have said all the important stuff, but just to add my 2 cents.....WELCOME! Sending good thoughts, and hopes for you to find some comfort as soon as possible. ~whimsy