[jthomers]

I have done plenty in my life. I have suffered depression bouts and was anorexic at 14, through running and not eating. I spent nearly 30 years obsessively fitness training, I have always worked , army at 17, 12 years as a maths teacher.
My latest depression has been for 10 years, severe for 2 months.
I am single, have debt, hated my last 2 jobs teaching, then truck driver. I have lost interest in everything. I have no family around and no friends. I have my 11 year old x-collie Homer. I fear being homeless.
I have sought medical help, finally may get more than tablets. I have stopped work this week as it was not safe to continue in my current state.
The real trouble seems to be that I cannot see any future for myself, work, hobby, money, relationship etc, all seem to offer me no hope. I feel that I have reached a point that I wish my life over
People tell me 48 is young, take 1 day at a time etc, I am not sure any more that it is the depression or that there really is no point to my life.

[missbelle]

Thats your depression talking not you! Hang in there till you get a handle on that depression!! It's not the world right now. Itts how you are perceiving it thru depressed eyes. You might not like quotes but one quote especially got to me when I was feeling very much like you..."Don't give up before the miracle happens"
You just never have any clue as to what the future could bring. Don't think that it can always be destruction and hate, and sadness. There is GOOD.When you can see it thru eyes that are not depressed you may find what you need!!

Trust me, all of us here have been where you are right now. I most definately was. Some of us here are still struggling just like you with the meaning of life and is it worth it!! Please hang in there with us!

So glad you have old Homer......Give him a pat for me!

[Snowy83]

I'm exactly where you are right now, struggling everyday, but hang in here, you are 48, you've been through so much, yet you are STILL here, alive. Think about it, you were able to survive from all those difficulties in the past, you CAN survive this too!!! Keep telling yourself this, you can get over this as well. I understand how hard it is with the issues of job/money/relationship/hobby, set your priorities, fix it once at a time. Baby step!

[oliamble]

Yes hang in there, also wait for your medicines to begin working. I'm 34 and I also suffered a lot and dealing with my depression, but again all those feelings definitely is the depression in you talking and I'm sure a proper treatment will help you bounce back and look at life from a different perspective. Keep active on the forum and tell us your progress.

[Leed]

Bless your heart -- I have been where you are, believe me. That horrible place where it all looks gray -- just a long halway of gray on all sides.

You need to see a therapist. You need someone to talk to about your issues. I know you have money problems, but isn't your life worth this? If you absolutely cannot afford a therapist, then call your doctor and tell him what's going on, and he will put you on an antidepressant which you DEFINITELY NEED! He might even give you some samples, as they sometimes do for folks who can't afford them.

Please talk to your doc. Life can look wonderful again, because it IS and with an antidepressant you'll see that. If you've had experience with them and they didn't work, keep in mind that there are MANY of them out there and you might have gotten one that just didn't work for YOU. And they take about 6 wks to begin working too, so don't give up, ok?? You're a vital person -- an important person in this life! You're important to US. So call your doc, and LET US KNOW what happens, ok? We really want to know!

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[James0805]

Originally Posted by jthomers

I have done plenty in my life. I have suffered depression bouts and was anorexic at 14, through running and not eating. I spent nearly 30 years obsessively fitness training, I have always worked , army at 17, 12 years as a maths teacher.
My latest depression has been for 10 years, severe for 2 months.
I am single, have debt, hated my last 2 jobs teaching, then truck driver. I have lost interest in everything. I have no family around and no friends. I have my 11 year old x-collie Homer. I fear being homeless.
I have sought medical help, finally may get more than tablets. I have stopped work this week as it was not safe to continue in my current state.
The real trouble seems to be that I cannot see any future for myself, work, hobby, money, relationship etc, all seem to offer me no hope. I feel that I have reached a point that I wish my life over
People tell me 48 is young, take 1 day at a time etc, I am not sure any more that it is the depression or that there really is no point to my life.

I feel like that at 42. I've been dealing with depression for about 12 years too. It's so hard.

[tallwaters]

Im feeling alot like you are. I am 50 and have a 11 year old pup too! I live alone after 25 years of being married. And hair dye cant keep up with my awesome grey hair lol! We will turn the corner ! I promise and 50 is the new 20! Keep posting! Hugs!

[Gypsyblurose]

I really don't have any words of encouragement, but wanted to let you know I do understand and feel your pain.

[GreyThinker]

So, 50 is the new 20? Well, that's good to know. I am pushing 54, and like the OP, quite feeling washed up.... kids left home, career and relationship fading out.... and yeah, lol, hair dye not always working, nor body. But, if this is the new 20 - does this mean life is all just starting again? It would be nice to hear from people who have, actually, gone through this and are now on the other side. Sometimes, like the OP says, it doesn't feel that way.